


The best years of your life

by Buriacampaign



Category: Vampire Academy Series - Richelle Mead
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 08:06:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 32,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4297071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buriacampaign/pseuds/Buriacampaign
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Abe Mazur purchased a group of flats so that Rose and Lissa could room together in college, Dimitri never dreamed he'd be offered a spot rooming with Christian. He also didn't anticipate the tension between himself and Rose, but after what happened over the summer, what else could he expect?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An unexpected offer

**Rose POV**

****

I sighed, glancingat Lissa who was bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement. I smiled and raised my eyebrows.

"This is the one, isn't it?" I asked. Lissa nodded and clasped her hands.

"Oh Rose, it's perfect, look at this little breakfast bar! Plus our rooms have little window seats," she said, grinning and glancing around in wonder. I glanced at my dad, Abe, and smiled.

"Do you approve of this one?" I asked. He sighed and glanced around the room.

"I have to admit girls, it is a lot better than the crack den's you were looking at before," he said, pursing his lips and tapping on the walls. He pulled out his phone and stepped into the hallway. I glanced at Lissa and forced another smile. I was worried about her. Right now she seemed happy…but still, I worried about her. Ever since her parents died she had been going through waves of depression. Lissa turned to face me and held onto my hands.

"I can't wait to show Christian this place," She said softly. Christian Ozera…her long time boyfriend. I smiled and nudged her hip with mine.

"We'll need to come up with a system for when you two are being sickly sweet," I said, pulling a face. My father stepped back into the room and glanced between Lissa and I.

"I hope you've both picked your rooms," he said. Lissa let out a squeal of happiness and jumped into a hug with him. He made eye contact with me and smiled.

"You both know that you can't escape your fortnightly dinner obligations right?" he asked. I nodded, joining him and Lissa for a hug. He pulled out his wallet and scanned the cards, pulling out one and handing it to me.

"Furniture and essentials," he said, handing me the shiny credit card with ROSEMARIE HATHAWAY written on it. Lissa let out another squeal and tugged at my arm.

"Essentials, girls!" He reminded us. "Right, I have to go I have a business meeting, goodbye girls," he said softly, pressing a kiss to our heads. Lissa grabbed the card in my hands and let out a small sigh of contentment. She grabbed my arm and gave me my car keys.

"Let's go," she said brightly.

****

**Dimitri POV**

****

I don't know what I was expecting when Abe Mazur called me asking to meet up with him at the bar he had hired me in…but it wasn't a flat offer.

"Sorry?" I asked in confusion. Abe arched an eyebrow and took a sip from his glass of water.

"I said that I had an offer for you," He repeated. "You're starting college this year. I've just bought a block of apartments and I was wondering if you wanted one of them. At a discounted rate of course. I was thinking you and Christian could share one of the apartments. Instead of paying over the top rates,"

I felt my eyebrows furrow together and my heart leapt in my chest.

"Are you sure?" I asked. Abe laughed and looked at me.

"Consider it a worthwhile investment in your future. You'll be transferred to the bar closer to your apartment," he said. My heart leapt and I glanced at him.

"You're serious?" I asked, he nodded and glanced at me.

"Of course, you should know by now, Belikov. I'm a man of my word. I only wish that Andrew was here to see it with you," he said softly, his voice trailing off. My throat tightened and I tried to stop the thoughts of Andrew flushing my mind. He was Abe's son…and my best friend. Or at least…he was, before he was mugged and left to die on the sidewalk. Abe cleared his throat and forced a business like smile onto his face.

"The furniture is already at the apartment but feel free to decorate it however you'd like," He said standing up and dropping a set of keys into my hands. "I'll be in touch,"

I watched him walk out of the bar before picking up my phone and dialling my mother. Finally, some good news.

I held my bags of clothes and books, balancing them on one hand as I turned the key to the door of my apartment. Then I heard ither laugh. I almost dropped my bags and I cursed in my native tongue, catching the book with my other hand. I lifted my gaze and my eyes met Rose's.

"Dimitri," she said softly, taking a step forward to help me. I forced a smile and steadied myself.

"I've got it, Roza. Thank you," I said, opening the door and placing my bags inside and mumbling a quick goodbye to the girls. I leaned my head against the door and let out a groan. I was pathetic.

"Smooth," I heard a lazy drawl from behind me, and I spun round to face Christian Ozera. I rubbed the back of my neck and picked up my bags, heading towards the rooms. I noticed one was open and guessed that Christian had claimed it. I pushed open the second door and put my boxes down on the bed. I let out a sigh and glanced around the room. It was massive.

"It's great isn't it?" Christian asked, sitting on my desk and arching an eyebrow at my fascination. I nodded. It was a lot bigger than my last apartment…my last apartment could have fit inside this. Christian ran his eyes over my book collection and raised an eyebrow.

"History?" he asked. I nodded and Christian let out a bark of laughter. "Really, Belikov? We're going to be living together and this is the conversation I get out of you?" he teased. I smiled and stood up.

"Sorry, I'm still getting used to having someone here," I joked. Christian leaned back against the wall and smirked.

"Don't worry. I'll have you talking in no time," he said smugly. I shook my head and started organising my books. Christian glanced at the Westerns and frowned.

"Are they in Russian?" he asked. I nodded. "Is it hard to read your college books?" he asked, gesturing at the English textbooks. I shrugged and stood up.

"I manage," I said. Christian nodded and headed for the door.

"I'm going over to see the girls. Do you want to come?" he asked.

"No!" I said quickly, too quickly. Christian raised his eyebrows and gave me a pointed look.

"Whatever, weirdo. We'll talk later," he said, heading for the front door. I groaned and pulled one of my books off the shelf and tried to focus on it. I was being ridiculous. Rose was my best friend's little sister…and I couldn't even speak to her. Not after what happened during summer. I groaned and covered my face with my book. I'm sorry,I thought to Andrew. There I was lying on a bed that by all rights should have been his…crushing on his younger sister.


	2. A whole lot harder

**Rose**

I stood up quietly, trying not to disturb Lissa and Christian who were wrapped up in each other's arms in their own little world. I opened the front door slowly and stepped into the hallway. My eyes landed on Dimitri's doorway and I frowned, tilting my head to the side. He had been so awkward earlier, it was so unlike him.

Exhaling heavily, I opened the door to their apartment and stepped inside, glancing around the empty living room. I made my way over to another room and paused in the doorway. The western novel on the bed was a dead giveaway that this room was Dimitri's.

I felt a smile tug at the corners of my lips and I sat down on his bed, getting comfortable. I kicked off my shoes and picked up his book scanning the pages. Not that the words made any sense. My eyes found one word that I recognized and I arched an eyebrow.

"Rose?" Dimitri asked in surprise and I looked up to lock my eyes onto his.

"Comrade," I said, nodding at him. He glanced back at the door and pursed his lips.

"How did you get in here?" he asked, avoiding my eyes. I raised my eyebrows and flicked through his book.

"Well Comrade, the thing about doors is when they aren't locked anyone can just walk right in," I said, scanning the pages. "Is this book porn?" I asked, glancing up at him.

Dimitri let out a groan and snatched the book out of my hand, placing it on his desk.

"What are you doing here Rose?" he asked. I picked at my nails and shrugged.

"I came to see why you were acting so weird earlier," I said, looking up at him expectantly. His eyes darkened and he shook his head.

"I wasn't acting weird," he muttered under his breath, avoiding my eyes. I sighed and swung my legs off the bed, taking a step towards him.

"Sure you are. You're doing it right now," I snapped, I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me.

"What is it?" I asked, searching his eyes. As usual I got nothing from them.

"Nothing Rose. Have you ever considered that I might not want to talk to you?" he asked. I winced and I noticed his eyes visibly soften and I scowled.

"Is this because of what happened during su-" I began. Dimitri shook his head and looked at me.

"Nothing happened during summer," he said, his eyes locking on to mine. "Anything that happened was a mistake," I clenched my jaw and raised my eyebrows.

"Right. Got it. Loud and clear. Sorry for bothering you then," I said, pulling on my shoes and pushing past him. I ground my teeth together and headed back into my apartment, making sure to slam the doors on my way out.

**Dimitri**

I winced when I heard the doors slamming behind Rose. It took everything in me not to run after her and apologize. But, if I apologized then she would make me discuss the incident from summer…and I really wasn't ready for that. I was having a hard enough time trying to convince myself not to think about it.

It never should have happened, but for some reason Rose got me. She always had and I had a feeling she always would. We were sitting on the roof of the club after closing, talking about our futures. Rose was telling me about how she was applying for psychology because she wanted to make a difference in the world. She wanted to help people who were suffering from loss the way she was…wanted to help people like Lissa who were struggling with self-harm and depression. The whole topic made her so passionate that I couldn't help but sit and stare at her in awe.

Then she asked what I was doing…and in comparison it seemed so mundane. History…I was studying history in the hopes of becoming a teacher. I can still remember her laugh and her teasing tone. "Well that would be one way to get girls to pay attention to a boring subject I guess…"

Then we had talked, for hours. Something I only seemed to do with Rose. Our conversation eventually found its way to Andrew and what he would have studied…in the end we had both came to the conclusion that he would have picked woman's studies as a way to pick up girls. Then Rose had started crying and I don't know what came over me but I had kissed her…and it wasn't just a comforting kiss. It was a full blown make out session. It was the worst thing I could have done. Even the memory of it filled me with guilt. It was wrong. I had taken advantage of Rose in a vulnerable position and most of all I had disrespected Andrew. Rose was his little sister for God's sake. Seven years my junior.

I ran a hand through my hair and lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. The worst part was that ever since the kiss I couldn't stop thinking of her that way. So my way to tackle that was to avoid her…and it had really worked out well so far. I didn't know what I expected. When Abe mentioned that he had bought a set of flats I should have known that Rose and Lissa would be living in them too. I ran my hands over my face; avoiding her was going to get a whole lot harder.


	3. A Rose substitute

**Rose POV**

I swung my legs out of the bed and groaned, pulling myself towards Lissa's room. I opened the door and glanced at her. She was tossing in her sleep, as I had expected. I made my way over to her and sat on the bed, running a hand through her hair.

"Lissa, wake up," I said softly. Lissa sprang up, clutching her chest and breathing heavily. I sighed smoothing down her hair.

"You're okay Liss," I murmured. Lissa let out a sob and curled against my side.

"I had that dream again. Of the crash…" she sobbed, I felt a lump forming in my throat and I hugged her tighter. "I miss them so much Rose," she cried.

I smoothed down her hair and pressed a kiss to her temple. I caught sight of the clock and I sighed. I didn't want to leave her today, but I had to…my induction to my course was today and it was compulsory. I couldn't leave her alone. So I got the next best thing.

**Dimitri POV**

I stumbled to the door, running my hand through my hair and scratching my stomach. I opened the door and frowned at Rose who was standing in front of me in a tank top and shorts. I forced my gaze back up to her eyes and frowned.

"What are you doing here Rose?" I asked exasperatedly. How was I supposed to get over my ridiculous crush on her if she was coming to my door dressed like that? Rose ignored me and pushed past me into the apartment. I rolled my eyes, turning to face her, expecting some sort of snark but she wasn't even looking at me. She padded over to Christian's room and knocked lightly on the door.

"Ozera, wake up," she called, tapping her foot anxiously on the floor. I couldn't help but admire her features. She had no make up on, but she still looked amazing and her hair was falling in natural waves…with a bed head look about it. She looked flawless. I suddenly caught myself and shook my head, resting against the couch. Christian opened his room door and glanced at Rose sleepily.

"Hathaway, to what do I owe the pleasure?" He drawled. He was trying to sound like an asshole but I could tell the two were great friends. Rose sighed.

"It's Lissa, the nightmares are back…she needs her Rose substitute today," she said. Christian grabbed his keys and nodded, heading out of the door straight away. I glanced at Rose and tilted my head to the side. She exhaled and ran a hand through her hair staring after Christian. I frowned suddenly wanting to take the sadness from her eyes.

"You look like you could use a hot chocolate," I said softly, turning to put on the kettle. Rose sighed and sat down at our breakfast bar.

"I'm fine," she said, but it sounded more like she was testing the words out to see how they sounded.

"Liar," I said, turning to face the cupboard and pulling out two mugs. Rose pulled her hair up into a high pony tail and sighed.

"I'm just worried about her," she said, watching me carefully as I dunked two packets of hot chocolate into the same cup. I placed her cup in front of her and sat down in the seat beside her.

"Is she self-harming again?" I asked softly, my hand skimming the top of the mug. Rose shook her head.

"No, she's still on her meds. It's just…she's having more nightmares more frequently," Rose said, staring at her mug. I could see her visibly fighting the tears. Seeing Lissa self-harm…finding her after it. It had hurt Rose more than any of us could imagine. I looked at her and smiled sadly.

"You don't have to be strong all the time, Roza," I murmured, wrapping my arm around her and smoothing down her hair.

**Rose POV**

I didn't get it. One minute I was stressing over my best friend and the next minute I was frozen in place because Dimitri had wrapped his arm round me. It was pathetic but hey…it was the first contact I had with him since the kiss during summer. The kiss that I couldn't wait to repeat…but he had made it more than clear that that was never going to happen.

Mistake the word swirled round in my mind. I glanced at him and tried to focus. Why did he have to use the name Roza? Every time he did I couldn't help but wonder how he would sound whispering in my ear when…I jolted myself out of my thoughts and I suddenly focussed on Dimitri, trying to ignore the fact he was shirtless.

"I do Dimitri, For Lissa," I said simply. Dimitri shook his head and squeezed my shoulder.

"You have people that you can rely on too Rose," he said softly. I stood up and scoffed.

"What? Like you?" I said sarcastically. Dimitri opened his mouth to respond and I shook my head , cutting him off.

"Whatever, I have class. Thanks for the hot chocolate," I muttered as I walked out, making sure I slammed the door on my way out.


	4. Like a jealous ex

**Dimitri POV**  
"Belikov! You're early? What did I tell you Janine? The boy's always early!" Abe said, throwing his arm around me and squeezing my arm. I grinned and felt a surge of happiness in my chest. Janine smiled and shook her head as Abe walked ahead of us, talking about all the finer points of his club. Janine's hand landed on my arm and she gave it a gentle squeeze.

"He always did love his boys," she said softly, her eyes watering. I swallowed the lump in my throat and followed after Abe.

"Does the place get busy often?" I asked. Abe laughed and nodded, clapping his hands together.

"During semester time we make a killing off of the students. Plus, for a guy like you they will tip well," he said, cupping my cheeks and grinning. "This place is becoming my best investment."

I smiled and nodded. "That's great. I'll work any hours you need…to pay you back for how much you have given me," I said quickly. Abe's eyes fell onto mine and his grin slipped.

"Nonsense. Your education comes first! This is an investment in you Dimitri. I want to see you achieving your dreams in life. This job is to help you. Heaven knows I have enough money," he said, his jaw clenching. "There is no way I'd see one of my boys struggling," he added, pulling me in for a hug. My jaw clenched and hugging him back, I swallowed the lump in my throat. Janine shook her head and watched us both with watery eyes. I suddenly felt guilty for my moment with Abe. This was Andrew's family. It should have been Andrew's moment. I cleared my throat and looked at Abe.

"Menu?" I asked, averting the topic. Abe nodded, back into business mode and began showing me all of the different drinks we had. Finally. Something new to occupy my mind. It had nearly killed me this morning to think that Rose believed I didn't care about her…and now I had a way to distract myself from her.

"Two Buds and a Vodka," I nodded and grabbed the drinks, handing them to the man in front of me, taking the money and putting it into the register.

"Two cosmos!" Someone else shouted. Leah laughed and nudged me.

"I'll get these. You serve those two," she said, nodding in the direction of two blondes who had been sitting at the bar most of the night, deliberately waiting for me to serve them. I rolled my eyes and flipped Leah off before making my way over to the girls.

"What can I get you girls?" I asked, making eye contact with the one holding the cash.

"Hmmm…how about White Russians?" She said boldly, flashing me a flirty grin. I shook my head and began making them.

"My speciality," I said as I sat them down in front of the girls. I heard an all too familiar scoff to my left and the hairs on my neck raised. Rose. I didn't even have to look I could feel her gaze on me. I took the girls money and gave a polite smile when they slipped me a tip. I turned to face Rose and arched my eyebrow.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. Rose smirked and glanced at Lissa.

"Ohhh…I wonder what we would be doing at a bar. Use your head, Belikov," she said, taking a sip of her drink.

"Leah…make sure you don't serve these two…they're underage!" I said, smirking at Rose. Ha.

Rose laughed and tapped her nails on the top of the bar counter, her eyes developing the challenging glint.

"Don't you think they know that? My dad owns the place. I can have anything I want. Isn't that right Leah?" Rose said, smirking at me. I felt the corners of mouth twitch up and I shook my head.

"Yeah, yeah. What do you guys want?" I asked, glancing between Lissa and Rose. Rose took another sip of her drink.

"Can I have a cosmo please?" Lissa asked softly.

"Ooooh, how about whatever your new girlfriends having," Rose said sarcastically, glancing at the blondes. I shook my head and arched my eyebrow.

"A surprise it is," I said grabbing some ingredients and beginning to make a cocktail. Rose focussed her eyes on me and pursed her lips.

"It better not be a virgin cocktail, Belikov," she said. I sat the drink in front of her and then put a shot of tequila beside it. I put Lissas cosmo in front of her and smiled at her. Rose glanced at hers and looked up at me.

"What's it called?" She asked.

"A Rose Hathaway," I said, turning away from her and beginning to serve the other customers at the bar. Leah smirked and reached past me for a bottle of beer.

"Flirting with the bosses daughter? Bold move for a new guy," she teased. I froze and met her eyes.

"We weren't flirting," I said defensively. Leah laughed and shook her head.

"Uh-huh," she said.

Work was supposed to be a way to get my focus off of Rose. But, here she was in the bar and always on my mind. I sighed and shook my head as Lissa stumbled over to me.

"You two are getting cut off soon," I said, resting my chin in my hand. Lissa laughed and shook her head.

"We're having fun!" she said, covering her cheeks and smiling at me. I shook my head and scanned the club for Rose.

"Where is she?" I asked. Lissa made a vague gesture towards the dance floor. My eyes landed on Rose and my heart froze in my chest. She was dancing with some guy, whose hands were sliding dangerously low. I clenched my jaw and focused back on the customers in front of me. One of the blondes from earlier than night sat down in front of me and smirked.

"What time do you get off?" she asked. I shrugged and glanced in the clock.

"Soon," I said curtly. The girl blinked in surprise and she glanced back at her friends, before leaving quietly. I clenched my jaw and began cleaning random glasses to occupy myself. Leah snickered and shook her head.

"Are you always so nice to girls who are trying to get your attention?" she asked. I glanced at her.

"She's drunk. There are plenty of guys around her in similar states," I muttered. My eyes scanned the crowd and couldn't see any sign of Rose. Lissa was curled up in the corner with Christian. I let out a frustrated growl. Leah shook her head and smiled at me.

"Your shifts over anyway, you can go home," she told me. I began to protest and she shook her head.

"You're practically useless right now anyway," she teased, swatting me with a cloth. I shook my head and made my way over to Lissa and Christian.

"I'm about to leave, I'll see you guys at home. Call me if you need a lift," I said, making my way outside. My eyes fell on Rose as I left the building and I felt a wave of rage wash over me. She was pressed up against the wall, kissing some asshole whose hands were getting a little too grabby. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him off Rose and throwing him away from her.

"What the hell are you playing at?" I hissed, grabbing Rose's arm. Rose tugged against my grip and scowled.

"Wasn't it pretty obvious?" she snapped. I pulled her towards me car.

"You're coming home. Now," I snapped. Rose scoffed.

"Let me go!" she snapped, fighting my grip on her arm. I let go, forcing her into the car and sliding into my seat. I ran a hand through my hair and began to pull away.

"For God's sake, Roza! What on earth were you thinking?" I asked. Rose avoided my eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. I ran my tongue over my teeth and tried to calm myself.

"It's none of your business," she snapped. I ground my teeth together and slammed my hands down on the steering wheel.

"God damn it, Rose you can't just go throwing yourself at people," I snapped. Rose scoffed and looked at me.

"Newsflash, you don't own me. I can do whatever I want," she snapped. I scoffed and shook my head.

"And apparently whoever," I muttered, pulling into our driveway. Rose scowled, getting out of the car and slamming the door behind her.

"You sound like a jealous ex," she snapped, opening the door to our apartment complex. I followed in behind her and shook my head. Rose spun round to face me and she locked her eyes onto mine. "That's exactly it isn't it? You're jealous," she said accusingly, her eyes lighting up as if she knew all the secrets of the world. I narrowed my eyes.

"No, Rose. I just don't like you throwing yourself at anything that moves," I snapped. Rose laughed.

"Is that your subtle way of calling me a slut?" she snapped. My mouth fell open and I tried to tell her that wasn't what I meant. Tell her that I was jealous. Rose grabbed my shoulders and pushed me against the wall, pressing her lips against mine. I wish I could say that I pushed her away immediately…or that I didn't kiss her back. But, I did. I pulled away after a few minutes and grabbed Rose's arms.

"Don't ever do that again," I hissed. Rose smirked.

"Don't kiss me back then!" she countered. I shook my head.

"You're drunk," I snapped, opening her door and pushing her inside. Rose shook her head.

"I might be tipsy but that doesn't mean that I don't know when someone kissed me back, and you kissed me back," she hissed.


	5. Let's play never have I ever

**Rose POV**  
I stared at Dimitri defiantly, waiting for his reply. He ground his teeth together and exhaled.

"Just go to bed, Rose. Goodnight," he said, turning to open his apartment door. I let out a growl and followed in after him.

"Oh yeah, classic Dimitri. Walking away when we obviously have something to talk about," I snapped. Dimitri's shoulders tensed and he shook his head, heading towards his room.

"Go home, Rose," he said tensely. I shook my head and sat on his desk.

"I don't think I will," I said smugly, kicking my legs backwards and forwards and staring at him expectantly. Dimitri ran a hand through his hair and turned away from me. I smirked because I knew it meant I was getting to him.

"So, when are you going to admit that you were jealous?" I asked. Dimitri spun I round to face me and shook his head.

"I wasn't jealous," he snapped. I laughed and shook my head.

"Just like you didn't kiss me back?" I said sarcastically. Dimitri's eyes locked onto mine and he scowled.

"You're imagining things," he snapped. I laughed and slid off the desk.

"You're lying. You kissed me back. Just like you did this summer," I hissed, taking a step closer to him. Dimitri shook his head.

"I've already told you that was a mistake," he muttered, avoiding my eyes. I raised both my eyebrows and crossed my arms over my chest.

"And why is that?" I asked. Dimitri shook his head and glanced at the door.

"Why don't we talk about this tomorrow when you're sober?" he asked. I laughed.

"What, you think I'm still drunk after the stunt you pulled? Nothing wakes you up more than having the guy you're kissing hauled off of you," I snapped. Dimitri let out a growl and clenched his jaw.

"His hands were all over you!" he snapped. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed.

"Because I allowed it. God damn it, Dimitri, I'm an adult now. I can make my own decisions. You don't get an input," I said, pushing past him. Dimitri's jaw clenched again and I could see the muscle tensing. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back towards him.

"Don't you care about the name you're going to give yourself?" he hissed. I pulled my arm from his and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Oh look, jealous Dimitri strikes again. What, you wish it was your hands all over me?" I asked sarcastically, I met his eyes and noticed that he wasn't going to respond. I let out a groan and headed out of the room, slamming the door behind me.

I walked into my apartment and into my room, settling into my window seat. It terrified me. My make out session with the guy at the club had been okay. Though it pissed me off when Dimitri stepped in, he had never looked more attractive. Then, feeling him kiss me back…it was like being set on fire. Every nerve in my body responded to his touch.

I sighed. Heading into my suite, I began wash off my makeup. I didn't know what it would take to get him to admit he was jealous, because he was jealous. I could see it in his eyes. His usual guard had completely slipped tonight. God, he had even flirted with my when giving me my drink A Rose Hathaway. That damn smile that had accompanied it was going to plague my dreams for weeks. I put on my moisturiser and sighed, staring at myself in the mirror.

"Get a grip, Rose,"I muttered. I heard the front door opening, no doubt Lissa trying to sneak in. I felt the corners of my mouth tug into a smile.

**Dimitri POV**

You wish it was your hands all over me? The words kept whirling in my mind. I did.That was my whole problem. I grabbed my book from the side of my bed and began reading. I had to stop when I realised the direction the characters were heading. It wouldn't be wise to read it when it was already plaguing my mind.

I sat up and glanced towards the door of my apartment, my mind drifting to the kiss. It shouldn't have happened and part of me wished it hadn't. Now all I could think of was pressing Rose against me and kissing her, which was totally out of the question.

I groaned getting out of bed and headed towards the kitchen, jumping when the door opened. I spun round, expecting to see Rose again, my hear fell slightly when I noticed it was Christian.

"Hey, you want a coffee?" I asked. Christian laughed and sat down at the breakfast counter.

"Was your shift that bad?" he asked. I forced a smile and glanced at the door.

"Everything after it," I muttered. Christian laughed.

"Ahh, Rose. Lissa and I seen the hullaballoo after the club," he said, opening the fridge and pulling out two beers.

"I think these will go down better," he said, sliding one my way. "Tell me about what happened." he said, sitting down on the couch and waiting for me. I met his eyes and grinned. He was always so nice to me, willing to be friends even though I had never actually reciprocated his conversations. I grabbed the beer and grabbed the rest of the pack out of the fridge, sitting on the couch opposite him.

"I lost it when I saw some guy all over her," I muttered. Christian laughed and nodded.

"The guy shit himself; he was adamant that the Russian mob were coming after him," Christian said, clutching his stomach with laughter. "I wound him up by saying you were part of the Bratva."

I shook my head and threw one of the cushions at him.

"With Abe's connections that would be believable. Who needs body guards when you have a member of the brotherhood working for you," he added, tears streaming down his face. I shook my head and glanced up at the ceiling.

"So now Rose thinks I was jealous," I muttered, taking a large swig of my beer. Christian scoffed and sat up, staring at me as if I were stupid.

"Thinks? Dude," he said, firing the pillow back at me. "You are jealous!"

I took another swig of my beer and reached for another.

"I'm not," I protested. Christian sat up and locked his eyes onto me.

"So it doesn't bother you to think of some guy kissing Rose? Some guy with his hands all over her body? Rose letting out little sighs of someone else's na-" he teased. He cut off when my empty beer bottle shattered in my hand and he raised his eyebrows.

"No, not jealous at all are you?" he taunted, handing me a trash can to dump the glass into. I shook off the loose shards, checking my hands before grabbing another beer.

"I just don't like seeing her put herself in those positions," I argued. Christian laughed.

"Only because you want to be the one to put her in those positions," he teased. I felt my ears heat up and Christian nodded. "Yes, that was a double innuendo," he said smugly, obviously enjoying the fact I was so flustered.

"I don't think about Rose like that," I said defensively. Christian laughed and took a drink of his beer.

"Sure you don't," he said smugly. Then he got a glint in his eyes and he sat up, grabbing a bottle of vodka from the counter, along with two shot glasses.

"Let's play never have I ever," he said brightly. "You can start."

I poured us both a shot and eyed him wearily.

"Never have I ever been born in America," I said. Christian rolled his eyes and took a shot, pouring himself another and smirking.

"Never have I ever worked for Abe," he teased, I took my shot and poured another.

"Never have I ever kissed a blonde," I said, Christian flipped me off and took his shot. The game continued like this for around an hour until Christian began giggling.

"I've got it," he said. I shook my head.

"Go for it," I said, my head was beginning to spin slightly and I knew if I stood up I would be off balance.

"Never have I ever had a sexual fantasy about Rose," he said smugly, watching my face. I laughed and put my head in my hands, before taking a shot. Christian erupted with laughter and shook his head.

"I knew it!" he said. I flipped him off and poured another shot.

"Never have I ever had blue eyes," I said. Christian shook his head and took a drink.

"Weak, Belikov. Weak," he said. He considered his next question and laughed to himself.

"Never have I ever had a sexual fantasy about Rose in the last 24 hours," he said. I glanced at the clock and cleared my throat, taking another swig. Christian let out another laugh and I flipped him off, standing up. Christian followed after me.

"We should go wake them," he said, making loud shushing noises as he lead me towards the girls apartment. I let out a horrified noise of protest and grabbed his arm.

"No," I said, pulling him back towards the couch. Christian let out another guffaw of laughter when I tripped over the arm of the couch and fell off onto my back on the floor. I let out a groan and sitting up, rubbed my back. The front door opened and Christian smiled sheepishly at Rose who was glaring at us both.

"What the hell is going on?" She asked. "I could hear you two giggling like idiots from across the hall!"

I glanced up at her and ran my eyes over her. She looked beautiful, just like she always did.

"Roza, Roza, Roza," I murmured. "I fell," I moaned. Rose glanced around the room and noticed the empty beer bottles and what was left of the vodka on the table.

"Jesus Christ," she muttered, using all her strength to pull me to my feet. I stumbled slightly and Rose had to steady me using her hands.

"Oomph, how drunk are you?" She muttered, leading me towards my bedroom. Christian stumbled in after her and began laughing again.

"I know a secret," he sang, making me throw my book at him. Rose raised her eyebrows as Christian climbed into bed.

"Oh, do you?" she asked. Christian nodded and focused his eyes on me.

"Dimitri kissed Rose,"He mumbled, curling at the bottom of my bed. Rose's eyes locked on to mine and she pursed her lips.

"Did he?" she asked, tucking Christian in. He nodded sleepily and hugged his pillow. I looked up at her and smiled.

"So beautiful,"I murmured. Rose's cheeks flushed and she busied herself by tucking my in. I grabbed her hand and looked up at her. "I don't like you kissing boys," I muttered, I tapped my hand against my heart. "It hurts," I moaned.

Rose sighed, pressing a kiss against my forehead. "Goodnight, Dimitri," she said simply, before fading into darkness.


	6. What happened last night?

**Dimitri POV**

I kicked out my foot and it connected with something that whacked me back in return. I sat up, holding my head and scowled at my feet. The quilt moved and a bed-headed Christian poked his head out from it.

"Dude, not cool," he rasped, tucking himself back into the quilt. I let out a groan and looked at him.

"How much did we drink?" I asked, screwing my eyebrows together and groaning. Christian chuckled.

"A lot," he said, stretching and getting out of bed. I followed after him and groaned.

"I'm so glad I don't have class today," I moaned, clutching my head. Christian laughed and flicked on the kettle.

"Surely you should know how to handle a hangover?" he asked. I laughed.

"I haven't been drunk in about a year," I said, shrugging. I sat down at the breakfast bar and glanced at him.

"So how much do you remember?" I asked. Christian smirked and poured us both a coffee.

"Everything," he said shrugging. I sighed and rubbed my forehead; I wished I could say the same. I could vaguely remember Rose coming in just before I went to bed. I just hoped that I hadn't said anything embarrassing. Christian smirked and nudged me.

"You act all stoic but a few drinks and you don't shut up…so…now that you've admitted you were jealous…what are you going to do about it?" he asked, swirling his coffee round the cup. I cleared my throat and shook my head.

"Absolutely nothing," I muttered, taking a gulp of my coffee. Christian slammed his mug down on the table, making me wince. He paced around in front of glared at me.

"Are you shitting me? Belikov come on! You like her and I'm betting she liked you too. What is there to lose?" he asked. I shook my head and pushed my hair out of my eyes.

"Look, you wouldn't understand," I muttered. Christian exhaled heavily and ran a hand through his hair.

"Right, whatever. I'm going to class," he muttered, heading into the bathroom and slamming the door closed. I flinched at the noise and picked up my book thumbing the edges, before settling down on the couch and beginning to read.

Suddenly, Christian's head popped into my vision and he grabbed my face. "Make a move before someone else does. I'm going out with Lissa tonight. Could be your perfect opportunity," he told me with a wink. I stared after him and frowned. I couldn't make a move. Especially when I didn't know what I had said to her last night.

**Rose POV**

I let out a sigh, taking the eraser to my page again and began copying the slide again. But, it was useless. How was I supposed to focus on the warrior gene when all I could think about was Dimitri last night?

I clenched my jaw and ran a hand through my hair. I didn't know what he wanted from me. One minute he was acting all jealous, the next minute he was acting like a total asshole…then when he was drunk. My heart clenched at the memory. He looked so sad. So unlike himself. It hurts. I chewed my lip and scribbled on the side of my paper. I could lie to myself, tell myself it was his back that he was talking about. But, I knew it hadn't been.

Seeing him hurting over me kissing someone killed me. But at the same time he was pushing me away at every turn. I didn't know what I was going to do when I saw him again. Part of me wanted to confront him about his drunken words….but I knew it would be unfair of me when we has trying to keep his distance. I noticed people beginning to pack their bags and I cursed looking at my notes. Three lines…that was all I had managed to get copied.

I stepped into my apartment, dumped my bag on to the floor and flopped onto the couch. I noticed a note on the remote and glanced over it. Lissa was going out with Christian. So I was in alone. I glanced at the door and sighed before making my way towards Dimitri's door. I opened my apartment door and let out a surprised gasp when my eyes met Dimitri's. He smiled and held up a selection of DVD's.

"I thoughts since our roommates have ditched us we could watch a movie," he said softly. I glanced at the selection he was holding up and scanned the title.

"Okay,just not one of those," I said, giving the westerns a disdainful look. Dimitri smiled and stepped inside the flat, glancing around. His eyes fell onto the couch and he gestured at it as if to say may I? I nodded and headed to the kitchen.

"Do you want a drink?" I asked. Dimitri nodded and I reached for a beer.

"No!Soft drink please," he said quickly. I grabbed a coke and shook my head, setting down beside him.

"How does the movie 28 days sound?" I asked. Dimitri shrugged and kicked off his shoes.

"I'm fine with anything," he told me. I grabbed a duvet from my room and pulled out the 28 days later set, moving into the living room. I smiled and settled down beside him, flicking off the lights so that we were in darkness.

**Dimitri POV**

We'd made it ten minutes into the film and Rose still hadn't mentioned last night. It was driving me mad, not knowing what I'd said or done. Rose turned so that her back was against the arm of the couch, her legs draped over mine and I turned mimicking her position and taking her foot into my hands. Rose let out a hiss when my hand found a tense spot in her foot. I kneaded the knot in her foot and Rose's head fell back against the arm of the chair and she let out a groan. I smirked and looked up to meet her eyes. She shook her head.

"You don't know what you've started. I'm not going to leave you alone now," she told me,

placing her other foot in my lap. I smiled, working on the knots in her other foot. Rose let out a groan and closed her eyes. I moved my hands up to her calves and kneaded the knots. Rose let out a groan and I bit my lip, focusing on the movie to distract myself. Rose jumped when the infected came on screen and I let out a laugh.

"Scared?" I teased. Rose scowled, whacking me and sitting up.

"You jumped too!" she said. I scoffed and shook my head.

"Nope, that was all you," I said smugly. Rose grabbed my sides and began tickling me. I swatted her hands away and let out a chuckle.

"Rose, stop it," I demanded. Rose laughed and looking down at me, she smiled. It was only then I realised that she was straddling me. I glanced at her, my mouth beginning to dry. I felt a heat wash over my body and Rose began tickling me again.

"Admit you jumped," she demanded. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"I didn't jump, Rose," I said, arching an eyebrow. Rose laughed and climbed off me.

"Do you need another coke Belikov?" She asked, heading into the kitchen. I watched the sway of her hips and gulped, trying to swallow the dryness in my throat. I drank the rest of the coke and nodded.

"Please," I said, covering my face with my hands.

**Rose POV**

I took a deep breath and turned on the faucet, splashing myself with some water. What was I playing at? I groaned. Grabbing two cokes from the fridge, I headed back into the living room.

I sat down opposite Dimitri and passed him the can, his hand brushed against mine when he took it from me and I felt a buzz of electricity shoot through me. I pulled my hand back and inwardly cursed myself. I was pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. Dimitri's hand landed on my wrist and he looked at me.

"Are you okay, Roza?" he asked softly. Roza.Did he have to use that name? I forced a smile and nodded. Dimitri's eyes scanned mine and he shook his head.

"Don't lie to me Roza, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting up and leaning towards me. My eyes darted to his lips and I closed my eyes, shaking my head.

"I'm fine, it's nothing," I said. Dimitri shook his head.

"Classic Rose, can handle everything all by herself," he said, pushing my hair behind my ears.

"You promise me you'll let me know if something is bothering you?" he asked, playing with a strand of my hair. I gulped and nodded.

I was screwed, so screwed.


	7. Like a dream

**Dimitri POV**  
I don't know what made me wake up, maybe I sensed Christian looking at me. I jumped and glanced at Christian.

"Какого черта?!"

Christian's mouth tugged up at the corners as he glanced at my chest.

"Awwwww," he mocked. I glanced down at Rose who was still sound asleep and gave him the middle finger, trying not to disturb Rose. Christian shook his head and stood up.

"You're pathetic Belikov. Did you even make a move?" he asked, arching an eyebrow. I ground my teeth together and flipped him off again. Rose stirred in her sleep and opened one eye, letting out a groan when she saw Christian. Christian smirked.

"Well hello to you too," he said sarcastically, standing up and heading into Lissa's room. Rose slumped back against my chest and yawned. I smiled, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

"Let's get you to bed," I said softly, scooping her into my arms and carrying her into the bedroom. When I walked past her desk I noticed an all too familiar picture. Lissa and Rose at Halloween two years ago. I averted my eyes and shook my head. That was the beginning of my problems. Rose smirked and curled against my chest.

"No one has done this since I was seven," she murmured sleepily. I laughed, laying her down in the bed gently. I pulled up her quilt and tucked her in. Rose yawned and looked up at me. I pushed her hair behind her ears and smiled.

"Goodnight Roza," I whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Rose grabbed my arm and tugged me towards her.

"Don't go, stay," she mumbled. I pushed her hair out of her eyes and smiled at her.

"Roza, you know I can't do that," I said softly. Rose let out a low growl and elbowed me.

"Can't or won't?" she muttered. I glanced at the door and let out a sigh. Rose shook her head and flopped back down against the pillow. "You know what? Just go Dimitri," She muttered, waving dismissively. I ground my teeth together and kicked off my shoes.

"Move over," I muttered. Rose sat up glaring at me.

"Excuse me?" she snapped. I arched an eyebrow.

"Move over," I said, moving to get into the bed. Rose shook her head.

"You are not sleeping in those," she said, gesturing at my jeans. I rolled my eyes and tugged them off, folding them and sitting them on the window seat.

"Now move over!" I demanded. Rose slid over and let out a huff and glowered at me.

"Aren't you supposed to be all gentlemanly?" she muttered. I scoffed and wrapped my arm around her waist, tugging her against me.

"Shut up, Roza," I muttered, burying my face in the crook of her neck.

**Rose POV**

My breath hitched when Dimitri tugged me against him, and I tried in vain to gulp away the dryness that suddenly took over my throat.

"Shut up, Roza," he muttered, burying his face into the crook of my neck. Breathing slowly, I tried to keep my heart from beating out of my chest. I closed my eyes and pretended to block out how amazing being in his arms felt. It wasn't like I could get used to it.

When I woke up Dimitri's hand was still draped across my waist and it took me a few minutes to register that he was actually draped over me. I moved slightly and Dimitri groaned, pinning my arms to my side.

"Shh," he muttered. I closed my eyes and shook my head trying not to laugh. He snuggled closer and his hand gripped onto my hip. I glanced at him and tried to ignore the crease in his eyebrows. His grip on my hip slackened and he let out a groan, followed by a whimper.

Sitting up, I shook him gently. He opened his eyes hazily and gave me a lazy grin before pulling me against him and kissing me. His lips moved against mine and his hands tangled through my hair. I let out a surprised gasp when he pulled me against him, his hands holding my waist. I responded almost immediately, kissing him back and running my hands down his back. Dimitri let out a groan and began placing kisses down my neck slowly.

"God Roza, you smell amazing," he murmured, pressing open mouthed kisses against my skin. Then he stiffened and threw himself away from me, knocking himself off the bed and onto his back, much like he had done from the arm of his couch. He let out a hiss of pain and stood up, giving me an apologetic look.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I thought I was dreaming, I should go," he had said it all so fast that he was starting to leave the room before I even really knew what was happening. I stood up and grabbed his arm.

"Dimitri, come on!" I snapped. He shook his head, his eyes filled with pain. I could practically see what he was thinking. What he had done was wrong. He was taking advantage of me. Sometimes his stupid duty filled morals drove me up the wall. I reached for his arm, but he stepped out of my reach.

"I'm sorry," he said, running a hand through his hair and leaving the apartment. I sat on the edge of the couch and stared after him. What the hell had just happened?

**Dimitri POV**

I couldn't believe what I had done. Waking up from a dream about Rose to find her in bed beside me had confused me and my sleep deprived brain had assumed I was still sleeping. Until I smelt her shampoo.

I cursed and ran a hand through my hair. I didn't know what I was playing at. I ran a hand over my face and flopped down on my bed staring at the ceiling. I had kissed Rose. Again. This avoidance plan was working out brilliantly. I should have been able to escape thinking of Rose like that. But now that I had kissed her…really kissed her…in a bed of all places, it was going to be difficult for me to stop thinking about her.

My eyes caught sight of a picture of me and Andrew and I suddenly felt guilty. I'm sorry, I thought, staring at the picture. I stood up and ran a hand through my hair, trying to ignore the images that were flashing through my mind. It was pathetic how much a kiss with Rose could mean to me…this time had been so different from our last because this time there had been nothing holding me back…because I thought I was dreaming.

I groaned and closed my eyes. There was no way that Rose would let this one go and if Christian found out….I would never here the end of it. I had to come up with some sort of lie. I thought you were someone else. I was sleep walking…it was just a dream. I knew none of these excuses would work with Rose. So I was going to need to find something to help.


	8. Two can play this game

**Rose POV**

I snatched the cereal out of the cupboard, slamming the door shut and dragging my bowl out of the cupboard and thumping it down onto the counter. Christian let out a low whistle and raised an eyebrow.

"Who pissed in your cereal?" he asked. I ground my teeth together and poured my cereal into the bowl and dumping in the milk after it. I grabbed a spoon and sat down at the breakfast bar.

"Nobody," I muttered, chewing the cereal angrily. Christian laughed and stood up.

"Riiiiight, so what did he do?" he asked, locking his eyes onto mine and gesturing towards the general direction of his apartment. I sighed and made a vague gesture with my hands.

"He freaked out," I muttered, shovelling cereal into my mouth. Christian nodded and pecked Lissa's forehead. Lissa closed her eyes, smiling and leaning against his touch. I felt my heart clench and I smiled at them both. I loved seeing the blissful happy look on Lissa's face…and I loved Christian for putting it there.

"I'll see you tonight girls," he said, grinning at us both and heading to his own apartment. I smiled, resting my hand on top of Lissa's arm.

"Are you okay today Liss?" I asked. Lissa nodded, clasping her hands over mine.

"I am. Today feels like a good day," she said softly, her eyes lighting up. I forced a smile onto my face and Lissa's smile fell.

"Are you okay?" she asked. I nodded and laughed.

"I'll be fine," I promised, forcing a smile onto my face.

**Dimitri POV**

Christian smiled and sat down in front of me.

"I need a favour," he said, giving me a full grin. I laughed and raised an eyebrow.

"What, no buttering me up first?" I teased. Christian scoffed and whacked my arm.

"My aunt Tasha is going to be visiting and I was wondering if you would mind if she stayed with us? I can pick up a spare bed and duvet sets today…I just wanted to clear it with you first," he said, his eyes filling with excitement. I laughed and shook my head. He was talking a mile a minute, how could I do anything to ruin his mood?

"Of course she can stay, do you need any help picking things up?" I asked. Christian grinned and tossed me the keys to the car.

"Um…her? Okay thanks," he said, disappearing out of the door. My mouth fell open and I stared after him. What the hell. My eyes spotted the note on the coffee table and I laughed.

2pm outside rail station

Thanks Belikov!

I shook my head and glanced at the clock. It was almost one thirty. If I left It would mean I would be there in time to meet her off the train. I shoved my feet into shoes and stood up, grinning to myself. Tasha and I were old friends and the thought of seeing her again sent a buzz of excitement through me.

I rocked on my feet nervously as I waited for a sign of Tasha. I was beginning to think she had missed her train when I spotted her hair in the crowd. I grinned, pulling her into a hug and smiling at her.

"How are you?" I asked, setting her down.

"I'm fine Dimka! My skin is a little itchy but you know how my scar gets with any change in the weather," she said, making a vague hand gesture as she pulled her bags into the car. My eyes were drawn to the scar on her face and I felt my stomach lurch.

That scar was Tasha's badge of honour. A scar she had gotten fighting of Christian's parents when he was a baby. His parents had been ready to rob the house, taking everything they could find, including attempting to take Christian's college fund which Tasha had started for him. When Tasha had butted in she got more than she bargained for. The steak knife they had used had left a jagged scar across her face. But, she was still one of the most beautiful women I knew.

'She has nothing on Rose of course' the voice in my head quipped. I shook my head and focussed on Tasha who was complaining about the train journey. They hadn't even offered her water.

"So, anyway. Enough about me. I want to hear about you! Abe giving you and Christian an apartment? It's insane. Although you always were like his second son," she said. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded.

"It's great," I said simply, hoping she wouldn't bring up Andrew.

**Rose POV**

Lissa smiled and grabbed my hands.

"Tasha is back! Christian just text me. This is so exciting, I bet he is so happy to see her!" Lissa said excitedly, almost knocking over her coffee with excitement. I laughed and nodded.

"I don't think he will be the only one pleased to see her judging by your reaction," I teased. Lissa smiled and clapped her hands together.

"We'll be able to go shopping tomorrow. We could start looking at outfits to get you some action," she said, wiggling her eyebrows at me. I shook my head, pretending to be exasperated but in reality I was excited to see Tasha too.

I closed my eyes, blocking out Lissa's excited rabbling. An outfit to get you some action. I inwardly scoffed; what would that be for Dimitri…cowboy boots and hat? I had to stifle my laughter at the thought of wearing anything like that in front of him. I could imagine it. His avoiding eyes he pretending not to look. I laughed and Lissa gave me a suspicious look.

"You're in your own little world today aren't you?" she mused. "Tell me what's bothering you."

I shook my head and shrugged.

"Nothing important. So tomorrow, manicures?" I asked, swaying the conversation. Lissa let out an excited squeal and began jotting down things in her to do list. I laughed, shaking my head. She would be the death of me.

I glanced at the door to Dimitri's apartment and sighed. I was contemplating whether or not to talk to him. Because we obviously had to discuss last night. But, at the same time I knew that exactly what he would say. I didn't mean it. It didn't mean anything. It can't happen again. I took a deep breath and sank back against the wall.

**Dimitri POV**

I shook my head and looked at Tasha.

"You have to be kidding," I said. She shook her head and pulled out her phone.

"I'm 100% serious. God, Dimka, you really need to get with the times and get a Facebook," she told me as she scrolled through her phone. "Ah-ha!" she said finally, shoving the phone into my face to show me the baby pictures of one of our mutual friends.

"This is baby number two!" she said. I shook my head and headed to the fridge, grabbing a can of juice and throwing it to Tasha, who almost caught it but, instead it hit off the arm of the chair and exploded all over the both of us. Tasha let out a shriek and stood up, brushing off her pyjamas.

"Damn it, this is the only set I brought," She muttered. I laughed and gestured to my room.

"Feel free to take a shirt from my room. It should be long enough to cover you. I'm going to clean this up," I said, using kitchen towel to mop up the mess I made. It really was everywhere.

I was halfway through cleaning up the couch when I heard a knock at the door and let out a groan. Tasha stepped past me and laughed.

"Don't worry, Dimitri. I'll get it," she said, making her way over to the door.

**Rose POV**

I knocked the door, deciding to bite the bullet. The front door opened and I looked up preparing myself for Dimitri's 'Come on Rose' look. Instead I was met by Tasha. My eyes lit up and I was about to give her an enthusiastic hello until I realised what she was wearing. A shirt. Specifically Dimitri's shirt. I clenched my jaw and met her eyes.

"Rose! Hi," she said brightly. "What can I help you with?" she asked, flipping her hair over her shoulder and smiling at me. I shook my head.

"Nothing, I came to see Dimitri but apparently you guys are preoccupied," I said, giving her a fake smile. Fighting back the lump in my throat, I turned and walked…well sort of jogged back to my apartment, ignoring whatever bullshit excuse Dimitri was giving.

He wanted to play this way? Fine. I slammed the door behind me and flopping down on the couch, thought about what Lissa said.

An outfit to get you some action.

I laughed to myself. "Two can play this game, Dimitri."


	9. Completely breathtaking

**Rose POV**

I ran my hands over the fabric in front of me and sighed. Nope. Lissa laughed and shook her head.

"I've never seen you so picky Rose," she said. Tasha shook her head and gave me a smile and I had to force myself not to roll my eyes.

"You'll look amazing in anything you choose," she said, squeezing my shoulders. I forced a smile.

"Yeah I know," I said shortly, pulling away from her. Her mouth fell open into a small 'o' and she covered the hurt look with a forced smile. Lissa glared at me from over the clothes rack and I pretended not to notice. I glanced at my nails and frowned.

"I still need to get a manicure too," I reminded Lissa. Get them nice and pointy. I thought eyeing Tasha. Lissa nudged me and pointed over to a set of tight skinny jeans. I smirked and made my way towards them. They were just the right mix of modest and sexy. I grinned, picking up a tight red tank top. Tasha furrowed her eyebrows and pursed her lips.

"Rose…I thought you were trying to get the guys attention?" she said, giving my outfit a look of distaste. I laughed and shook my head.

"What you think walking about in a shirt is the only way to get someone's attention?" I said icily. Tasha's eyebrows knitted in confusion and she opened her mouth.

"I just meant that it's not as attention grabbing as I thought you would want it," she said, giving me a smile. I raised my eyebrows and looked at Lissa.

"What do you think?" I asked. Lissa nodded and nibbled her lip.

"So who is the lucky guy?" she asked. I turned to face her and shrugged.

"This guy called Jake from my psych class. He asked me out a few days ago," I said offhandedly. Lissa let out a squeal and she clapped her hands together.

"This is so exciting," she said, taking my arm and leading us to the counter.

"So where are you going?" She asked. I shrugged and picked a pair of earrings absentmindedly.

"Probably just to my dad's bar," I said. Tasha shook her head and glanced at Lissa.

"Rose come on, you need to go somewhere you can get to know the guy for crying out loud!" Tasha said. Lissa nodded in agreement.

"You could go to that coffee place," she said softly. I pursed my lips considering it.

**Dimitri POV**

I smiled at Christian and Lissa who were in the middle of an ice cream fight. Shaking my head, I glanced at Tasha who was staring at the couple with an ecstatic smile on her face. I glanced up when I heard Rose coming out of her room and suddenly my smile was gone.

She looked breath taking. I ran my eyes over her figure and paused when I realised that her hair was down…was she doing this deliberately to mess with me? She knew how much I loved her hair when it was down…and how much I loved girls in jeans and leather jackets. I averted my eyes and focused on the TV when Rose leaned over the couch to peck Lissa's cheek.

"Don't wait up, Liss," she said, winking at Lissa and giving the rest of us a polite wave. I stared after her and then turned to face the group, my eyebrows furrowed.

"Where is she going?" I asked, I could tell from the smirk that Christian was giving me that I was sounding a little jealous.

"On a date!" Tasha said, giving me a grin as if to say 'How great is that,' I ground my teeth together and met Christian's eyes. He shrugged and turned back to Lissa.

A date. Pfft. I stood up and made my way over to the window seat. I paused, watching as Rose ran across the road to the guys car. I scoffed when I noticed the make an Audi? Who the hell did this guy think he was? I grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down on the couch.

"So who is this guy anyway?" I asked. Christian shook his head and hid his smirk in his own bottle. Lissa grinned.

"His name is Jake! He's in her psych class," she said, smiling happily. I furrowed my eyebrows. What kind of college guy could afford his own Audi? I glanced at my own car keys and frowned thinking of the battered up jeep I had spent two years saving for. I jumped when Tasha touched my arm and she laughed.

"Woah, I just asked if you want to get out of here? Go for some drinks?" She asked. I raised my eyebrows and then shook my head.

"No thanks, I'm in the mood for staying in tonight if that's okay," I said, taking another drink of my beer.If I stayed in I could be there for when Rose came home. I glanced at the clock and inwardly sighed.

**Rose POV**

I let out another laugh pushing my hair out of my eyes. Jake laughed and tucked it behind my ear.

"Your hair has a life of its own," he teased, resting his hand on top of mine. I laughed, looking down at my hot chocolate and trying to ignore the way his hand on mine made me feel. It was nothing like the feeling I got from Dimitri's touch…but there was something there.

"I've got to admit I was kind of scared to ask you on a date," he said, taking a sip of his coffee. I furrowed my eyebrows and shook my head, trying to hide my smile.

"What? Why?" I asked. He shrugged, running a hand through his hair.

"I don't know. It's just…you're always so focussed in class…and outside of class you are always with your friend…and…you're hot. Which is very intimidating," he said, flushing slightly. I bit my lip and tried to imagine this scenario with Dimitri. The thought of him ever saying I was intimidating made me inwardly scoff. I opened my eyes and looked at Jake.

"I'm glad you asked me," I said, forcing a smile. One thought about Dimitri and suddenly everything about the date felt off. He was with Tasha. I tried to remind myself. He would never admit to liking you. I took a sip of my hot chocolate and grimaced. Double the chocolate that's the secret. I glanced at Jake and smiled.

"Would you mind taking me home?" I asked softly. Jake's smile slipped and he nodded.

"Of course, are you feeling okay?" he asked. I smiled.

"I'm just a little tired, that's all," I lied. I slid into his car and tried not to breath in the 'new car' smell that it seemed to have. Jake pulled in front of the apartment and smiled.

"At least let me walk you to your door?" he asked. I smiled and nodded, letting him open the door from me. We walked up the stairs and when we got to my landing he smiled.

"Thank you for an amazing night, Rose," he said, taking my hands and smiling at me. "Don't worry I won't try to kiss you," he joked, a slight feeling of disappointment settled in my stomach and I pulled him against me, crushing my lips against his. He let out a small moan of surprise and I felt myself smirking against his lips. He grabbed my legs, pulling them over his hips and tangling his hands in my hair. I was so into the kiss that I almost didn't hear the door opening.

**Dimitri POV**

I opened the door, ready to tease Rose for going out with such a jackass, but instead what I seen knocked the wind right out of me. I felt a wave of heat wash over me as I stared, unable to look away from Rose…kissing that guy. His hands tangled up in her hair the way that I had imagined mines being so many times.

I opened my mouth to say something…anything. To ask her what the hell she was playing at. To tell him off. But instead I just stood there, the words unable to come out. I felt a prickling in my nose and my eyes began to water. It was all my fault. I pushed her away.

Rose eventually pulled back and she glanced at me, confusion etched on her face. I closed my eyes. Shaking my head, I headed back into my apartment. I sat down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. What did I expect? I pushed her away at every turn. Did I really think she would wait around for a bartender who relied on hand outs from her dad? It was better this way anyway. Much better. So why did it feel like I had just taken a sledgehammer to my heart?


	10. You can't force love

**Rose POV**

I stared at the door to Dimitri's apartment in shock and glanced back at Jake.

"Sorry, the door opening startled me….I'll see you in class tomorrow?" I asked. Jake's smile slipped slightly, but he gave an enthusiastic nod anyway. I smiled, stepping into my apartment and leaning against the door.

He looked so hurt. It was all I could think about. That stupid look on his face. How was I supposed to move on if he continued giving me that look every time he saw me with another guy? I sighed, flopping down onto the couch.

When the bedroom door creaked, I jumped slightly. Christian walked in, a grin on his face, then his eyes fell on the couch and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Jesus Christ, you gave me a heart attack," I hissed hurling a pillow at him. Christian glanced back at his apartment and frowned.

"Didn't Dimitri talk to you? I thought he was waiting up…" he said, partially to himself, his face filled with confusion. I looked away guiltily and Christian cursed. "What have you done Rose?" he said exasperatedly. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"Nothing that concerns you. Or Dimitri for that matter," I spat, standing up and making my way into my room. Christian scoffed.

"That is total bullshit and you know it! Everything you do is something which concerns him and vice versa," he snapped, sitting on my window sill and scowling at me.

"What the hell happened?" he asked. I raised my chin and met his eyes.

"Nothing happened," I said. Christian shook his head.

"I heard my apartment door open. Didn't Dimitri talk to you?" he asked. I shook my head and Christian's frowned deepened. "Why not?" he asked, as if sensing I wasn't telling him something. I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know. Why would he even want to talk to me? He wanted distance," I muttered. Christian furrowed his eyebrow and grabbed my arm.

"Why did he want space?" he asked. I rolled my eyes again and avoided meeting his. I could tell by the scepticism there that he didn't believe me for a minute.

"Go ask him!" I snapped. Christian growled and I sighed heavily.

"I'm asking you. What happened, Rose? There's something you aren't telling me," he said pointedly. I closed my eyes and pushed my hair out of my eyes.

"He kissed me when he was half asleep," I muttered. Christian let out a noise that sounded suspiciously celebratory then he scowled and slapped me over the back of the head.

I winced and rubbed the back of my head, glaring at him. "Dude, what the fuck?!" I snapped, nursing my head.

"Why the fuck were you on a date if he kissed you?"He said, his voice filled with exasperation. I rubbed my forehead and glanced at my bed.

"I don't want to talk about this with you," I grumbled. Christian scowled.

"Well tough shit. Why? What happened?" he snapped.

"What happened? What happened? Well honestly, I'd like to know the same thing. You want answers? You can get in line." I pulled a face and flopped onto the bed, pulling a pillow under me.

It took a few moments before Christian realised that I was ignoring him. Letting out a growl, he stormed out of my room slamming the door behind him. Hugging the pillow tightly, I screamed into it.

I didn't answer to him any more than I answered to Dimitri. Besides, I couldn't give him answers that I didn't even know myself.

**Dimitri POV**

The apartment door flew open and Christian sighed, sitting down beside me on the bed.

"How are you?" he asked. I chewed the corner of my lip and I shook my head, staring up at the ceiling.

"She told me you guys kissed. Why the hell didn't I know about this? Seriously Belikov, I thought we were friends," he teased, flopping down beside me and staring at the ceiling with me. I let out a shaky breath and I scratched my jaw.

"I was half asleep. It didn't mean anything," I muttered. Christian scoffed and sat up.

"Now, I know that isn't true because otherwise you wouldn't have been so sulky all week. Honestly the pair of you are acting like children," he muttered. I covered my face with my hands and glanced at him through them. What use was it? I couldn'tlieto him. That was quickly becoming impossible.

"We didn't even get a chance to discuss it. I told her that I was sorry and avoided her because I was embarrassed. But, to be honest I expected her to force me to talk about it. You know what she is usually like," I said. Christian laughed and nodded in agreement. I frowned, picking at a thread in my comforter and swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Only…she didn't. Then, the next thing I know she's on a date with some total asshole. I mean…an Audi? Who can afford an Audi in college?" I snapped. Christian smirked and shook his head.

"Is someone a little jealous of the jackass rich kid with an Audi?" he asked. I narrowed my eyes and Christian laughed. "I'll take that as a yes," he asked, raising his eyebrows.

I sat up and glared at him. "I am not jealous. I just don't trust him," I muttered. Christian shook his head.

"You don't trust anyone with Rose," Christian reminded me, his eyebrows arched. I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I especially do not trust him," I said. Christian laughed and raised an eyebrow.

"And why is that?" he asked. I felt my nose tingling again and I cleared my throat loudly to get rid of the lump that was threatening to form.

"His mannerisms. I mean, he's clearly not a gentleman. Who even kisses a girl on the first date? Especially right outside her apartment door. Isn't that a little weird?" I muttered. Christian laughed and shook his head.

"Dimitri, why don't you just admit you're jealous and go talk to her about the other night?" he asked, raising his eyebrow. I shook my head and looked at him.

"You know it isn't that easy. Besides, she looked happy," I said, just saying it knocked the wind from my lungs. She deserved to be happy. I felt my eyes pricking again and Christian gave me a sympathetic look. I couldn't say anything to Rose about the other night. She had moved on. She had been happy on her date…and I was just going to have to accept that.

**Rose POV**

Shortly after Christian's temper tantrum, Lissa came wandering out of her room. Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she smiled at me. "How did your date go?"

With a long sigh, I replied, "It was fine."

"Uh-oh." She curled up next to me leaning into my shoulder. "Do I need to get the gummy worms?"

Shaking my head, I laughed. "I just thought this would work. I thought that…I mean…I don't know. Jake's so perfect."

"Maybe it's not perfect that you need."

I took a deep breath. "You make it sound so simple."

Sitting up, she looked me straight in the eye. "You can't force love, Rose. Either it's there or it's not." She smiled sadly and looked down at the floor. "And you definitely can't go looking for love when you've already found it."

I opened my mouth to protest, but she held up her hand. "Look, Rose, I've seen the way you look at Dimitri. Okay? I've been your best friend for twelve years. I'd have to be blind not to see it."

I sighed, letting my head fall into my hands. "Then why doesn't he?"

She simply shrugged. "I'm not the one you should be asking."

**Dimitri POV**

When I woke up I ended up feeling a lot worse that I should have. I poured myself a coffee in the hopes that it would wake me up. Tasha slid onto the seat beside me and leaned her head against mine.

"I can't believe you're back at school you know. I never thought I'd see the day," she said softly. I laughed.

"You know I've always wanted to teach," I said, staring ahead. Tasha nodded.

"I know, but I always assumed you would have a family first," she said softly. I scoffed and felt myself rolling my eyes. I couldn't even get my head together enough to admit to Rose I liked her…kids were a long way off. Tasha's eyebrows furrowed at my scoffing and she raised an eyebrow.

"You don't want kids anymore?" she asked. I met her eyes and shook my head.

"Eventually yeah, with the right woman," I said, my mind immediately brought up an image of Rose and I shook my head to clear the thoughts in my head. My stupid treacherous mind continued to think of fantasies that would never happen. Tasha's hand rested on my arm and I frowned.

"The right woman might be closer than you think," she said, leaning in towards me. Her lips almost grazed mine when I leapt away from her, spilling the coffee as I did so.

"Tasha…" I said, eyeing her warily. She flushed slightly and glanced at me.

"I'm sorry…I just thought…" she trailed off and cleared her throat. I bent over and cleaned up the coffee, giving her a startled look.

"Tasha…I'm flattered. I am. But…I've just started university. I'm sharing an apartment with your nephew. I work in a bar!" I exclaimed, running a hand through my hair and staring at her in confusion. She met my gaze and her eyes were filled with something which I knew my own eyes held when I looked at Rose.

"I'll wait," She said, giving me a look. I shook my head and looked at her.

"Tasha…you're one of my oldest friends but…" I closed my eyes and searched for a way to say it that didn't sound harsh. I took a deep breath and decided to be honest. "I'm in love with someone else," I admitted.

It felt to strange to say the words out loud, so surreal. Like a weight had been lifted from me. But, when I met Tasha's eyes I realised that whatever weight had been lifted from me had just slammed into her chest. She stood up, not even bothering to look at me and I suddenly felt terrible. I had hurt her.


	11. But I can sure as hell try

**Rose POV**

I closed my eyes and pushed my food around my plate. You can't force love. Lissa's words kept spinning round in my head. They had been plaguing me all day. She made it sound so easy. She acted as though being in love with Dimitri was enough.

I might not have been able to force love, but I could work on moving on, to someone who actually loved me. To someone who didn't push me away at every turn. I grabbed my phone and twirled it around in my hand. I couldn't force love, that much was true…but I could sure as hell try.

**Dimitri POV**

Three weeks, that's how long it took for Rose and I to speak. It was driving me mad that she was ignoring me. But… I had also wanted an excuse to avoid her. Now that she was avoiding me I was doing everything I could to run into her.

It took me three weeks to manage to corner her. I pursed my lips and placed my hands on either side of Rose, trapping her against the kitchen counter.

"You're avoiding me," I said, searching her eyes. Rose arched an eyebrow and shrugged.

"Just giving you what you wanted," she said, pushing past me and grabbing a can from the fridge. I ground my teeth together and grabbed her arm.

"This isn't what I wanted. You think that I wanted to see you with some jackass?" I asked. Rose pursed her lips and looked at me.

"Watch it, Belikov. You're almost losing your cool," she chided. I shook my head and ran a hand through my hair.

"I can't believe you're using a guy to try to make me jealous," I snapped. Rose laughed and slammed the can down on the counter beside her.

"Oh, get over yourself," She snapped. "What, you don't want me but no one else is allowed to have me?" I opened my mouth to protest and Rose held up her hand cutting me off. "Don't. I don't want to hear it anymore, Dimitri. I'm fed up of you going on and on about how we can'tbe together. You can keep trying to use Andrew as an excuse but he's dead.That is the plain and simple truth. God.I am so sickof you trying to take the moral high ground. So here is your easy out. You don't need to worry about offending his memory. Because I'm done chasing you. I'm with Jake…you'll need to accept that," she spat, pushing me away from her. I ground my teeth together and I could feel it. The anger rising inside of me. The kind of anger I always tried to avoid.

"Well I'm sick of you acting like people are just pawns. You want to use this guy and end up breaking his heart because you're trying to make me jealous? Go right ahead, дорогая," I snapped, storming away from her. I picked up my phone and dialled Abe.

"Can I pick up an extra shift?" I asked, I could hear him tutting on the other end.

"You sound upset, is everything okay?" he asked. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair again.

"It's fine. I just had an argument. Can I work?" I asked. Abe clicked his teeth and made a tsking noise.

"Of course, I might need you to do a delivery to the house tonight with the safe contents. Would you mind?" he asked.

I smiled. "Not at all. I'll see you tonight old man."

**Rose POV**

I scowled and paced in my bedroom. How dare he. How dare he act like Iwas the one with the problem! He had some nerve. Urg.I flopped down on the bed and let out another frustrated growl. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out and sighed when I noticed it was my dad. I answered the call and smiled.

"Hey, Dad," I said softly.

"Hello, Rose, remember tonight is family dinner night! I'll expect you, Lissa and Christian to be there," he said, I could hear my mother on the other end reminding him about Dimitri. 'He's working,'was his swift reply.

I breathed a sigh of relief. At least I wouldn't need to see him tonight. But, the relief was short lived when I heard the next words out of my father's mouth.

"Bring that new boyfriend of yours," I almost choked on my own saliva.

"Dad, it has been like four days. Come on!"I protested. My dad tutted.

"In my books that is three days too many. What kind of person doesn't make sure that they have a father's blessing before asking out one of their children?" he asked. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sure Andrew's ex-girlfriend's all asked your permission too?" I asked. My dad scoffed and I could see him shaking his head.

"We both know Andrew didn't have girlfriends," he said pointedly. I felt a smile tugging at the corners of my lips and I blinked back the tears in my eyes.

"I'll ask Jake. But I am not making any promises," I told him. He laughed, the noise rumbling through the phone.

"Good enough for me Rose, I'll see you tonight," he told me. I closed my eyes after the call disconnected and shook my head. I could pretend he couldn't make it…but Lissa would tell on me. I sighed and dialled Jake's number, praying that he didn't think I was psychotic.

Jake actually agreed. I couldn't believe it.Turning to face him, I smiled. Lissa rolled her eyes and leaned past me opening the door and walking in. Before she had even made it past the hallway my mum had swept her into a hug. Jake cleared his throat and stood awkwardly next to me as we waited for Lissa and my parents to finish their greeting. I forced a smile onto my face and gestured at Jake.

"Jake, this is my mom, Janine and my dad, Abe. Mom, dad…this is my boyfriend, Jake," I said. My mother glanced at me in confusion before quickly shaking Jake's hand and giving him a smile that only Lissa and I knew was fake.

Lissa gave me a pointed look and I could hear her voice in my mind. I told you. Even your mom can tell. You can't force love Rose. Jake extended his hand to my father and I noticed that his grip was a little too tight for Jake. My dad feigned shock.

"Sorry son, I'm so used to people with strong handshakes. I forget that some people today haven't got a good grip," he said, giving Jake a fake smile. I noticed the look in my dad's eyes and I groaned inwardly. Oh no. Dad please don't.Jake smiled and sat down next to me, squeezing my leg under the table. My dad's eyes focused on the miniscule movement and they narrowed slightly as he brought out the meals.

"It is such a shame that Dimitri couldn't join us tonight," my mother said fondly. Jake's eyebrows twitched in confusion and I saw him glance at me from the corner of his eyes as if to say who. My dad glanced at Jake and he smiled.

"You have met Dimitri? He shares a flat with Christian, isn't that right, my boy?" He asked, grinning at Christian who nodded looking mildly amused.

"No, I can't say I have met him…yet," Jake said, giving me a smile. I shoved some food into my mouth and glared at my dad hoping he would get the hint. I knew exactly what he was trying to do.

"I'm surprised that she hasn't introduced you. Rose used to dote on him. She was always following around him and her older brother. To be honest it was only because of the massive crush she had on him," he said teasingly. I noticed Christian biting the inside of his cheeks in attempt to hold in a laugh and I ground my teeth together. Jake gave me a look as if to say that's so cute.

"I didn't follow them around," I said. My dad shrugged absentmindedly and turned his attention to Jake.

"So, what do you do for a living?" he asked. Jake laughed.

"I go to uni," he said, shrugging. My dad's lips tightened and he glanced at the car outside.

"You can afford a car like that without working?" he asked. Jake laughed again and I saw Christian roll his eyes.

"My parents bought me it," he said offhandedly. My dad's eyes twitched and he nodded making a tsking noise. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Fuck.

"I see. Christian and Dimitri both work in my bars part time. It builds character. Prepares you for the real world. When Rose and Lissa are old enough they'll do some shifts too," my dad said, smiling again.

"So, you must get on with Dimitri then," Jake said, forcing a smile and attempting to make conversation. My dad smiled back at him, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Of course I do. You have to get along with your future son-in-law," my dad said, continuing to eat his chicken. I felt my face heating up with embarrassment.

"Dad!" I hissed.

"What? It's true," he said, shrugging his shoulders. I glanced at my mother who was hiding her face behind her glass trying to stop herself from laughing. Christian wasn't even trying to stop his laughter. Jake raised an eyebrow and glanced at me.

"With all due respect sir, Rose hasn't even mentioned the guy, and you think that they're what? Meant to be?" he asked, with an amused smile. My father's eyes locked onto Jake's and he smiled just as the door opened and Dimitri came into the dining room carrying a mass of boxes, which should have probably taken him three trips. He sat them down on the floor outside the dining room and smiled, giving a quick wave to say hello. My father stood up and grinned.

"Dimitri, my boy!" he said, pulling Dimitri in for a hug. Dimitri laughed and leaned over my mother's chair pressing a kiss to her cheek and giving her a heartfelt smile. Then his eyes landed on me and Jake and his features hardened.

"Dimitri, have you met Jake? Rose's new boyfriend?" My dad asked. Dimitri shook his head.

"I don't believe we've had the pleasure. I'm Dimitri Belikov," he said, extending his hand across the table. Jake took his hand and I saw him frown slightly at the pressure.

"I'm Jake," he said, edging a little closer to me and eying Dimitri in confusion. Christian chuckled and I saw Lissa elbowing him under the table. I cleared my throat and glanced at my dad.

"I'll help you put the plates away and serve the pudding," I said pointedly. He smirked and stood up, following me into the kitchen. I groaned and thumped him in the chest.

"What the hell was that? Do you realize how humiliating that was?" I hissed. My dad shrugged and sat up on the bunker.

"I don't like him," he said simply. I shook my head and slammed my hands on the counter.

"You don't have to like him!" I snapped.

"I'm supposed to!" my dad hissed. "You don't even like him!"

I licked my lips and tried to think of something to say. My dad shook his head and let out a sigh.

"Why are you even seeing this boy?" he asked. I looked away and he shook his head, plating up the pudding.

"He'll never compare to Dimitri, not by any stretch of the imagination," he said finally.

Ignoring him completely, I walked back into the dining room, forcing a smile as I gave everyone their dessert. Dimitri looked up at me in surprise when I handed him his own desert.

"Thank you, Roza," he said, his voice gravelly. I felt a shiver run down my spine and I inwardly cursed. Lissa met my eyes and she gave me a pointed look.

You can't force it when it isn't there.


	12. Fight for her

**Rose POV**

I exhaled and glanced at Jake trying to gauge whether or not he was pissed at me. I grabbed his arm and sighed.

"Can we talk?" I asked. He glanced at the car and bit his lip.

"Do you like him?" he asked, gesturing back at the house. I glanced at my feet and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Yes," I whispered. Jake nodded and ran a hand through his hair.

"Then why aren't you two together? Your parent's love him. So do your friends. What's stopping you?" he asked softly. I closed my eyes and considered the question. To lie, or to tell the truth.I lifted my chin and met his eyes.

"He doesn't want to be," I said honestly. Jake's eyes focussed on mine and he sighed.

"I'm the rebound," he stated, pushing himself up off the wall and heading to the car. I stepped after him and grabbed his arm.

"It wasn't like that.I like you Jake it just…" I trailed off and Jake smiled.

"Just not as much as him right?" he asked. I looked away and exhaled heavily. Jake shook his head and grabbed my hands. "Hey,it's fine. Honestly, I totally understand," he said softly. I glanced back at my parent's house and I sighed.

"I'm sorry about them," I told him. He smiled and leaned against the car.

"Everyone's family can get a little crazy. I get it. They love Dimitri, so to them I'm just a place holder," he said. He locked his eyes onto mines and raised an eyebrow.

"The question is, am I just a placeholder for Dimitri to you?" he asked. I furrowed my eyebrows and took a step towards him.

"No,I've already told you. It's not like that," I said frantically. Jake's eyes searched mine and he grabbed my hand.

"Can you guarantee that you aren't going to drop me the minute he snaps his fingers?" he asked. I laced my fingers through his and I shook my head.

"I won't,"I promised. Besides, what were the odds of that happening?I closed my eyes and squeezed Jake's hand. "I won't."

**Dimitri POV**

I sighed, scrubbing at the plate a little harder. Janine laughed and swatted me with a tea towel.

"You're going to burn through the porcelain if you keep scrubbing the plates so hard," she teased. I dropped the plate back into the sink and gripped the sink, staring out the window after Rose. Janine sighed and gestured at the window.

"So this is the first time you've met Jake?" She asked. I nodded.

"Officially anyway, Rose has been avoiding me," I muttered. Janine arched her eyebrows and looked at me in the reflection in the window, her green eyes piercing into mine.

"Do you blame her Dimitri? Losing Andrew was a massive blow to her and you helped her through it. Only for you to cause the next major blow yourself," she said, drying the plate and putting it away. I froze and Janine scoffed.

"You think Abe and I never noticed the looks between you two? God, even Andrew noticed the looks you were giving her as she grew up. Like she hung the stars in the sky," Janine closed her eyes and smiled.

"I remember the first time he mentioned it. He was so distraught because Rose was his baby sister. But then it had dawned on him. If you and Rose were together it would be just like he had always wanted. You and him…brother's for life," she said, opening her eyes and wiping away her tears. I stared at her. My eyebrows furrowed and I shook my head.

"He wouldn't have wanted it," I insisted. Janine laughed and she ran a hand through her hair.

"He would have wanted you happy. Dimitri, you were one of the most important people in his life. He knew you would be good for her.That you would protect her, keep her from hurting," she said softly, then her face set into a grim line and her eyes locked onto mine. "Only you aren't. You're hurting her more than I could have ever imagined."

My heart froze in my chest and I furrowed my eyebrows. You're hurting her more than I could ever imagine. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to ignore the pricking in my nose.

"Abe thinks it's all Rose's doing of course. He thinks that Rose is the one pushing you away. As always his boys can do no wrong. But, I saw it in her face tonight Dimitri. When Abe referred to you as his future son in law her face dropped," Janine hissed. My heart swelled when she mentioned Abe referring to me as his future son in law, but it was short lived when I realized what she was saying.Rose was hurting…and it was my fault.

"Then when you came in. The look on her face said it all. You've broken her heart, Dimitri,"Janine said, her voice cracking. I took a step back and furrowed my eyebrows. I didn't mean to. Janine bit her lip and glanced out at the front garden and sighed.

"You need to make up your mind Dimitri. You either need to stand up and fight for her. Or you need to step back and let her heal," she said softly, returning to the sink and beginning to wash the dishes.

"I can't fight for her Janine. She's happy," I said, running a hand through my hair and fighting the tears that were threatening to spill. Janine shook her head and looked up at me.

"You honestly believe that?" She snapped. The door opened and Abe stepped into the kitchen, glancing between us both.

"Everything okay?" he asked. Janine narrowed her eyes on me and I felt my heart jump at the look she gave me.

"It will be," she said dangerously. Abe glanced at me after Janine left and he sighed when he took in my face.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I felt my lip tremble and I leaned against the counter.

"Я облажался," I muttered, furrowing my eyebrows. Abe scoffed and he looked at me.

"You have not screwed up," he said. I shook my head and I looked up at him.

"I have. I have screwed up. This all my fault," I said, my voice cracking slightly. Abe shook his head and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"Dimitri. I cannot even count all the times I have fucked up with Janine. I almost missed Rose's birth because I was making a business deal," he said, nudging my chin with his fist. I shook my head and I looked at my feet.

"It's not the same," I muttered. Abe shook his head, grabbed my arm, and pulled me into the living room forcing me to sit on the couch. He sighed heavily when his phone rang and glanced at the screen before turning the phone off. I stared at him in shock and he waved a hand.

"This is more important right now," he muttered, stepping on top of his chair and pulling down a dusty photo album and handing it to me. I closed my eyes and ran my fingers over the familiar binding. I smiled and flipped open the photo albums glancing at the pictures. Abe pointed his finger onto a picture of Janine and smiled.

"This is Janine and Scott. The guy she got with after her and I parted ways at the end of summer," he said, smiling slightly. I glanced at him and he shook his head.

"When I found out she was with someone else…it killed me. It was so selfish because we both knew that our summer fling wouldn't last…but I went to Scotland to find her. To fight for her. Although, I was not literally expecting a fight. Apparently guys in Glasgow take the words. 'I'll fight for you' very seriously…I took a punch to the face and Janine had laughed at me…what I'm trying to tell you is we weren't supposed to make it…and we did. Because I fought for her."

He sighed and looked me in the eye. "Dimitri, you are like a son to me. I love you and Christian like you were my own. If you love my daughter, you're going to have to put up a fight for her," he said, slapping my back and standing up.

I glanced at the photo and frowned. It was hard to imagine a time where Janine and Abe hadn't been together. I smiled and shook my head. Only Abe would chase a girl across Europe then move them both to America. He had moved his whole life to make sure he and Janine could be together.

I sighed and flicked through the photo album. My eyes fell on a photo of Lissa and Rose during summer wearing ridiculous hats and sunglasses. I ran my finger over the picture and smiled. My eyes landed on a picture of Andrew and I next and I stared at the photo trying not to laugh at the ridiculous face Andrew was making.

Closing my eyes, I pursed my lips. Brothers for life. I laughed and shook my head. All this time I was using him as an excuse. How could I ever think that he wouldn't want me to be happy? I flicked through to the next page of the photo album and my eyes fell on a photo from last year that I hadn't even known was taken.

Andrew had his eyebrows arched and he was pointing behind him with a 'are you guys seeing this,' look on his face. Rose and I were behind him, lying on the couch. Rose had me pinned underneath her and she was smiling triumphantly. I was staring up at her with both of my hands on her waist. I looked at the photo and I felt a tightening in my chest and I ran my finger over the picture. I would fight for her.


	13. This is for us

**Rose POV**

I locked my eyes onto Jake's and smiled. "I don't deserve you," I said softly. Jake scoffed, tucking a stray hair behind my ear.

"You deserve the world," he whispered. I closed my eyes and swallowed the lump in my throat. At least someone thought so. Jake rested his forehead against mine and smiled.

"Let's go," he said softly. I grabbed his arm and looked up at him.

"I'm not ready to go home tonight," I said, glancing back at my parent's house. Jake shrugged and opened my door, letting me slide in. He closed the door gently and walked to the other side of the car, sliding in to his own seat.

"We don't have to go home right now. Where do you want to go?" he asked. I shrugged and picked at a loose thread on his seat.

"Anywhere. I don't mind," I said softly. Jake stared out of the window and clicked his tongue twice before grinning.

"We need to make a quick stop before we go," he said, grinning at me as he pulled away. I gave him a curious look and watched carefully for any signs I might recognize. When he pulled in to the supermarket I turned to face him, my eyebrows filled with confusion.

"Wait here," he demanded, getting out of the car and pointing his finger at me warningly. I felt a smile tugging at the corners of my lips and I shook my head, staring down at my phone. I went into my pictures and smiled at a picture of Andrew, wondering what he would have made of my father's antics tonight. He would have approved. Embarrassment and humiliation? Those were right up his street.I shook my head and glanced up at the roof of the car. He would have revelled in watching me squirm. I pursed my lips and imagined him slinging his arm around Jake's chair.

'You actually think you can compete with Dimitri, Dude?' I laughed at the thought. I doubted that Andrew would have let either of us get away with our behaviour in the past few months. I ran my thumb over the screen and sighed.

I missed him more than I ever thought possible. I can still remember my last words to him. Dude, don't forget to get my pizza and his response of haha, go fuck yourself. I could still feel the ghost of his lips against my forehead as he has pressed a kiss to my head and headed out. Then a few hours later, when Dimitri had shown up, looking distraught because Andrew hadn't shown up at his flat. Seeing the worry in Dimitri's eyes had jolted my dad out of his seat and in two hours we had received the most crippling blow my family had ever had.

When the car door opened, I jumped, glancing over at Jake and putting a hand to my chest. Jake laughed and pushed bags into the back of the car.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he said, sitting back down beside me and flicking on the radio. I blinked in surprise when I heard the latest chart music. I was so used to being in Dimitri's car where he listened to eighties hits that I had forgotten that people actually listened to decent music when they were driving. My lips twitched into a smile and I shook my head.

Jake glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes.

"Aren't you going to bug me into telling you where we are going?" he teased. I smiled and shook my head, leaning back in my chair.

"I think I will trust you with this one," I said, grinning at him. I glanced at my phone, which was beginning to run low on battery. I frowned and sighed, stuffing it into the bag. I turned round to look in the bags from the supermarket.

"Hey! No peaking," Jake told me, swatting my hands away. I grinned and began looking out the window, watching as we passed by the trees. Jake tapped his hands on the steering wheel and glanced at me.

"Your dad mentioned your older brother, why wasn't he there tonight? Does he live far away?" he asked. I cleared my throat and shook my head.

"He uh…he died last year," I said softly. Jake cursed and looked at me.

"Shit, I'm sorry…I had no idea," he said apologetically. I forced a smile and shook my head.

"It's fine. I'm just so used to being around people who know," I said. I exhaled and looked at him. "You aren't going to ask what happened?" I asked. Jake shrugged and looked at me.

"I feel like that is something people have to tell you willingly, it's not the type of thing you should ask you know," he said, giving me a soft smile. I closed my eyes and glanced at him.

"He was jumped by a group of guys on his way to Dimitri's flat. They mugged him and left him to die," I muttered, staring straight ahead stonily. Jake frowned.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured. I shrugged my shoulders and blinked back the tears and let out a shaky breath.

"I just miss him," I muttered. Jake's hand landed on mine and he squeezed it reassuringly. I smiled, interlaced my fingers with his, and went back to staring out the window.

Eventually Jake pulled to a stop and began grabbing his bags from the trunk of the car. I stepped out of the car and I could smell it instantly; the beach. I turned to face Jake and he grinned.

"We can't go down to the sand, but I figured sitting on the hill up here gives us a hell of a view," he said, pulling out a blanket and sitting it on the ground, closely followed by a duvet. I arched my eyebrow and he grinned.

"To keep us warm. I've also brought food and drinks and…I think we're all sorted. There are even bathrooms just over there," he said, pointing in the general direction. I bit my lip and smiled.

"Thank you. I needed this," I said, the wind blew slightly and I made my way over to the blanket, glad that he had thought to bring a blanket. We sat curled under the duvet, staring out at the sea, watching the waves curl against the rocks.

"I hope you don't mind me asking…but is Andrew the reason you picked psychology?" Jake asked tentatively. I ran a hand through my hair and shrugged.

"One of the reasons…the main reason was Lissa though. She lost her parents a few years ago and…she went through a stage of depression…I want to help people who are going through it, you know? I want to make a difference. Help them realize that there is always someone to talk to…" I trailed off and I smiled.

"What about you, why is a guy like you majoring psychology?" I asked. Jake smiled and pushed a bit of sand around the ground and exhaled heavily.

"My mom died in childbirth and…I blamed myself a lot as a child. I used to see my dad crying over her picture and I felt like it was all my fault. Like…my father would've rather had my mother and I was just a burden, a constant reminder that she was gone."

"Oh, Jake," was all I could think to say. Shock had taken away my ability to speak, and even though I desperately wanted to comfort him, the words just wouldn't come. Instead, I took his hand and squeezed it for good measure.

"I knew that my dad never blamed me for her death…but I always felt responsible…like I didn't deserve to be here when she wasn't. This one psychiatrist helped me get through it and ever since then, that's been the closest thing to being a superhero in my mind. And what little boy doesn't want to be a superhero?" He laughed lightly and ran a hand over his face.

"Anyway, I've talked to him about it, and I know now that losing her only helped him love me more. It's why he goes over the top," he said, gesturing at the car.

I stared at him in shock and I felt my nose tingling at the thought of a child blaming themselves for something so unavoidable. Jake laughed and wiped a stray tear away from my eye.

"Hey, no crying inside this duvet okay?" he teased. I scoffed and wiped my eyes and curling back against his chest, stared out at the beach.

"I'm really sorry, Jake," I said biting my lip to keep it from quivering.

Reaching over, he pulled my chin up and rested his forehead against mine. "None of that. Let's just forget all of that stuff tonight okay?" Suddenly he stood up and reached his hand down to me. "Rose, may I have this dance?"

He was crazy. "There's no music!"

Glancing around, he shrugged. "So? This is for us."

Taking his hand, I let him pull me into a slow dance. It wasn't long before he was humming a pretty terrible version of "Thinking Out Loud," and with a small laugh at his off-key rendition, I leaned my head against his shoulder and smiled. He was right. We deserved this.

**Dimitri POV**

I paced in front of the window, staring out at the street and waiting for Jake's car to pull up. When Rose came through that door I was going to tell her exactly how I felt. I was going to tell her that I would wait for her…for as long as I had to. I was finally going to fight for her.

I glanced at the clock and groaned she should have been home half an hour ago. I picked up my phone and dialled hers and it went straight to the answering machine. I felt my heart sink in my chest and I stood up, making my way over to the window and glancing out at the cars below me. Where the hell was she?I sat on my window seat, staring out at the window. I don't know how long I sat there before Christian tapped on my shoulder.

"Dimitri, you need to go to bed," he said, giving me a concerned look. I shook my head and stared back out the window.

"I can't until I know she's home safe," I said frantically, glancing at my watch again. Christian sighed and nudged me.

"Hey, she'll be fine. It's 5am. You need to go to sleep," he muttered. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"I can't," I hissed.

Christian sighed, pulling a blanket from his room and draping it over my shoulders. I glanced at my phone again and tried calling her. Pick up, pick up. The words kept swirling in my head but the line was dead. I realised that her battery must be out and I closed my eyes, squeezing them shut.

This can't be happening again. I clenched my jaw as I thought about Andrew's death. If I had noticed he was gone earlier he might have been found in time to save his life…what if it was going to happen again? I couldn't lose her too.

The night of Andrew's death kept filled my head, taunting me. There were so many things I could have done differently that night that would have saved him. I could have picked him up and saved him the walk. I could have met him halfway. I could have gone to his flat instead. I could have gone looking for him earlier.

I closed my eyes and a tear escaped, racing down my cheek. I couldn't go through that again. I ran a shaking hand over my face and tried to calm my breathing. She would be fine. She was with Jake. The thought made my jaw tighten even more. She could be out there doing God knows what.

I ran a hand through my hair and stared out the window. What if something is wrong?I tapped my foot against the window frame and stared, waiting for any sign of her. She would be fine. She had to be. I couldn't lose her too.

It was almost ten am when the car finally rolled up. When I saw Rose step out of the car my whole body sagged with relief. She was okay. She was okay.I stood up, making my way to the door and throwing it open, just in time to come face to face with Jake and Rose. I grabbed Rose's arm and let out a frustrated growl.

"Where the hell have you been?" I hissed. Jake took a step towards me and I spun round to face him.

"You stay out of this. You've done enough," I snapped, before turning to face Rose. "Do you have any idea how worried I was?" My voice wavered slightly. Closing my eyes, I clenched my jaw.

I opened my eyes and glared at Rose. Jake cleared his throat and looked like he was about to hit me. Rose kissed him on the cheek and whispered something that must have calmed him down.

"Just call me if you need anything," he said before glaring at me and walking away.

"Do you realize how selfish that was?" I hissed. She rolled her eyes and grabbed my arm, pulling me into my flat so that we were out of the stairwell.

"What is selfish about going out and having some fun?" she snapped. I ground my teeth together.

"I was up all night waiting for you to get home!" I spat. Rose sighed and looked up at me.

"Dimitri, I didn't ask you to do that," she said.

I felt my throat closing over and my eyes began to blur. "I thought something had happened," I said, my voice cracking. I sunk down into the window seat and I stared up at the ceiling. Rose took a step forward and took my hands in hers.

"I'm fine, Comrade. See? Totally fine," she said softly. I felt my lips tremble and I looked away from her.

"You weren't answering your phone…I thought…" I trailed off and bit my top lip trying to stop it from wavering. Rose sighed and pulled me against her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," she told me. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"I can't lose you too. I can't lose you,"I murmured. Rose wiped my eyes and shook her head.

"You won't lose me Dimitri, I'm not going anywhere," she told me. I leaned my forehead against hers and I ran my hands through her hair.

"Я люблю тебя, Роза. Я влюблен в тебя," I whispered. I felt Rose stiffen and she looked at me.

"What did you just say?" she asked. I met her eyes.

"You know exactly what I said," I told her. Her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes searched mine as she stared at me in shock.


	14. Dancing on my own

**Dimitri POV**

I closed my eyes and tried to process Rose's words.

"What?" I asked, praying that this time her response would be different. Praying that this time it would lift a weight from my heart rather than adding more weight to it.

"I said How dare you!" She hissed. She stood up and shook her head. "You can't just tell me that you love me!" I frowned and met her eyes.

"Why not? It's true!" I said. Rose clenched her jaw.

"I have a boyfriend," she snapped. I scoffed and stood up.

"Oh yeah, a boyfriend who everyone met for the first time tonight. Sounds real serious," I snapped. Rose lifted her chin and met my eyes.

"It is serious Dimitri," she scolded me. I scoffed and turned away from her.

"Yeah, I'm sure it is. Until you get bored of him and realise that I am the one you want," I snapped, running a hand through my hair. Rose shook her head and took a step back.

"You don't get to do this, you don't just get to snap your fingers and suddenly I'll drop my relationship for you," she snapped, poking me in the chest. Hard. I ground my teeth together and slammed my hand against the wall.

"So you'd rather be with someone you don't love?" I snapped. Rose locked her eyes onto mine and she shook her head.

"I don't love you either," she said icily. My blood froze in my veins and I struggled to find my voice.

"You don't mean that," I said, my voice taking a desperate edge. Rose glanced out the window and she sighed.

"I'm going home. I'm sorry that you waited up for me. I didn't mean to make you worry," she said, pushing past me and heading out of the apartment. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on anything other than the lump in my throat. I heard the door opening behind me and Christian flopped onto the couch beside me and pulled a fluffy duvet over us both. I clenched my jaw and stared straight ahead, the tears falling freely. Christian sighed and nudged me with his elbow.

"Come on. It's time to get you to bed," he said. I chewed my lip and stared at the door. She didn't mean it. Christian tugged me to my feet and pulled me towards my bedroom.

"You need to sleep," he told me. I sighed, laying down on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. I'm not giving up on her.

**Rose POV**

I closed my room door and sank down the wall beside it. You don't mean that.The desperation in his voice killed me. But, what was I supposed to do? You're right, I do love you. But, I've made a promise to a great guy saying that I'll give him a chance.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. He didn't love me. Not really. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the dejection washing over me. I cleared my throat, plugged in my phone, and let out a sigh. My door opened and I forced my expression to be neutral when I turned to face Dimitri. Only it wasn't Dimitri. It was Christian…and boy, did he look pissed. I stood up, discreetly wiping my eyes before turning to face him. Christian clenched his jaw and ran a hand through his hair.

"Do you realize how selfish you are being?" he hissed. I immediately felt my temper flare.

"Me? I'm the one being selfish?" I said incredulously. Christian raised his eyebrows and gave me a blank stare.

"Yes. You are," he snapped. I opened my mouth to protest and Christian cut me off by raising his hand. "You didn't even borrow Jake's phone to let anyone know you were okay," he snapped "and you know how much Dimitri worries. Honestly, I have never witnessed someone be so selfish in my life. And my parents chose drugs over me."

I narrowed my eyes and opened my mouth to speak but Christian silenced me with a glare.

"You know how hard it was for him to loose Andrew. You know how much he blamed himself. You know the way his mind works…and you still let him sit up for ten hours worrying about you! So yeah, I think you're being a selfish bitch!" he spat. I closed my eyes and stood up, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Get out," I hissed. Christian scoffed.

"Oh no, I'm not done with you yet," he said, leaning against the window seat. "I want to know why the fuck you lied to Dimitri," he said, locking his eyes onto mine. I closed my eyes and tried to steady my breathing.

"I didn't lie," I said steadily. Christian scoffed and slammed his hands down on the window sill.

"You did. God damn it, Rose. You're both head over heels for each other. Why the hell would you lie? Why would you even be with someone else when you're in love with him?" he asked. I cleared my throat and looked at him.

"He doesn't love me. Not really," I muttered. Christian rolled his eyes.

"No? And why is that?" he said sarcastically.

"If he did he wouldn't have slept with Tasha!" I snapped. Christian stared at me as if waiting for the punchline and then he erupted with sardonic laughter.

"You actually think he would do that? She borrowed a shirt. I can't believe you think that Dimitri, Mr. Morals himself, would do something like that! Come on Rose. What's the next bullshit excuse?" Christian asked, his voice hardening. I glanced out the window and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"I'm with Jake. Dimitri is too late," I said firmly. Christian stood up and forced a smile.

"Great. I'll see you when you've broken both of their hearts. God, Rose," he muttered, storming back out of my room. I heard the front door slam and I closed my eyes blinking back the tears.

**Dimitri POV**

When I walked out of my class it was almost eight o'clock. I hated how late some of these seminars ran. I looked up and I was a little shocked to see Christian standing waiting for me. I raised my eyebrows and walked over to him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. He grinned and shrugged.

"I thought we could spend our night off spending some of our wages at Abe's? Since he won't take the money in other ways," he said. I smirked at him and nodded.

"You, my friend, are a genius," I said. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and sighed.

"How are you?" he asked. I pursed my lips and shrugged.

"About as good as I can be. We've been studying the Balkans and looking at Serbia's involvement and I think you can imagine how some of my classmates reacted to the Siberian guy in the class," I said grinning. "Maybe I should pretend I'm part of the Bratva,"

Christian frowned and glanced back at the building. "They aren't giving you any trouble are they?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Nah, they just don't understand geography. Serbia," I said rolling my eyes. His frown deepened and he glanced at me. I grinned and nudged him.

"A drink will soon sort this day out," I said. Christian laughed and shook his head.

"Do you even remember last time? You were so hungover!" he exclaimed as we walked into the bar. I flipped him off and we walked over to the bar.

"What can I get for you boys?" Abe asked, popping up from behind the bar and grinning. Christian smirked at me and then looked at Abe.

"Four tequila's please," he said, handing over the cash. Abe looked between us both and shook his head.

"Nice try. Leah, make sure these two don't put a penny into this bar tonight. Same rule as the girls," he said, over his shoulder. Before putting our shots in front of us. I opened my mouth to protest and Abe shook his head.

"Can't stay! Got to run. Have fun!" he said grabbing his coat and leaving the building. I looked at Christian and grimaced.

"On an empty stomach?" I asked, gesturing at the shots. He waved his hand at me.

"We ate at four…so shush," he said moving my shots in front of me. I closed my eyes and grimaced at the limes.

"Do I need to?" I asked. Christian gave me a look that told me that told meYes. I did. I took the shots quickly and shook my head after both. The aftertaste of the lime was the only thing stopping me from hurling. Christian laughed.

"So…then I would find the cure and save the world. Only a few minor casualties," Christian said seriously, nodding at me. Leah glanced between us both and shook her head.

"I think I'll be cutting you guys off soon. I mean…Zombie apocalypse scenarios? Really?" she asked. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at her.

"It's always good to have an action plan," I insisted. Christian laughed and shook his head.

"Your action plan was to find a cabin miles away and hole up with supplies. Iwas going to save the day," he said smugly. I scoffed and shook my head.

"You were going to get yourself killed. Meanwhile, I'll be safe in my cabin in the woods," I said, smirking as I took a drink from my beer. Christian opened his mouth to retort when his eyes landed on something behind us. I grinned, turning to see what caught his attention. Rose.

Seeing her only caused my heart to sink. Jake took a step closer to her and smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist and grinning at her. The sight of it made me feel like I was going to be sick. I closed my eyes and turned to Christian.

"I'm going to go," I said, standing up and grabbing my jacket. Christian moved to follow me and I shook my head.

"Stay here. Please. I just need to be alone," I muttered. Christian sighed and nodded.

"Okay…" he said hesitantly. "Let me know as soon as you're home," he said, casting me a worried glance. I nodded and made my way towards the exit. Rose pulled back from her kiss just in time to make eye contact with me as I left. I felt another clench in my heart and I forced myself to look away. I wasn't so stupid as to force myself to endure this.

I stepped outside the club and exhaled heavily, trying to ignore the gnawing feeling in my stomach. I glanced towards the main road and shook my head, heading through the park. I put my hand up to my eyes and furiously wiped my tears away. I was going to fight for her. Whether she wanted me to or not. I would wait as long as I had to for her to come to her senses.

I jumped when I heard a scuffling sound in front of me, slightly down an alley. Then I heard it…a girl's scream. I surged forward, making my way down the alley. I saw them almost immediately. Some scrawny guy had a girl pinned up against the wall and was tugging at the hem of her dress.

"Stop," she pleaded. My heart twisted and I stepped out of the shadows, barrelling into the guy and knocking him from the girl. I glanced back at her and jerked my head.

"Get out of here," I said, no sooner were the words out of my mouth before the girl was gone. I glanced back at the guy behind me and froze when I saw what he was pointing at me.

"You're going to pay for that," He hissed. I lunged at him, trying to wrestle the gun from his hands then bang and a pain in my abdomen that made me cry out and drop to my knees. I rolled onto my back and watched bleary-eyed as the guy ran away.

I closed my eyes and tried to stop the bleeding. I used my other hand to fish for my phone in my pocket. I desperately tried to ignore the woozy feeling as I dialled Rose. The phone went to voice mail and squeezed my eyelids down.

"Roza, I need you," I muttered deliriously. I felt a pressure on my side and I looked over.

"Don't worry, the ambulance is just coming. You'll be just fine," A frantic voice told me. I took a deep breath and tried to focus on the light above me, fighting to keep my eyes open, eventually the darkness washed over me.


	15. I can't lose you

**Rose POV**

I pulled away from Jake and laughed.

"Stop it," I insisted, stepping out of his grasp before he could pull me into another spin. I glanced at my phone and frowned when I noticed the missed call from Dimitri. Half an hour ago. I gestured outside and Jake followed me frowning.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Dimitri called me and left a voicemail," I said, worrying my bottom lip. Jake rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall.

"I thought you said you wouldn't drop me as soon as he snapped his fingers?" he muttered. I narrowed my eyes.

"Dimitri never leaves voice mails. Something is wrong," I insisted. I pressed my phone to my ear and held my breath.

Roza, I need you. The words caused my stomach to clench and I immediately hung up the phone and headed back inside.

"What is it?" Jake asked, giving me a disapproving look. I shook my head.

"He needs me. I'm getting Christian," I muttered, pushing through the crowd towards Christian. Jake rolled his eyes.

"He needs you?" he sneered. I paused mid step and looked at him.

"Jake, something is wrong," I said slowly, before heading over to Christian who was staring at his phone anxiously.

"Christian, Dimitri left me a voicemail almost half an hour ago…" I said trailing off. Christian closed his eyes and let out a string of curses standing up.

"We need to call your dad. He should have let me know he was home by now," he said, grabbing my arm and tugging me to the entrance. Jake raised his eyebrows.

"Do you two really think that is necessary? He's a big guy he can look after himself," he said. Christian turned to face him and narrowed his eyes.

"Yeah, well we all thought the same about Andrew," he said pointedly. Jake's eyes flashed with recognition and he looked away. I pulled out my phone getting ready to dial my father when his caller ID flashed onto my phone. I put the phone to my ear and steeled myself for what was coming.

"Rose. Meet us at the hospital. Dimitri has been in an accident. He might need blood. You and your mother are both compatible," My dad said. I nodded and grabbed Christian's arm.

"We need to go, Jake. I'll call you later," I said, not even bothering to look as I dragged Christian to my car. I had never been more thankful to be the designated driver.

Christian glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes. "Is he okay?" he asked tentatively. I shrugged.

"He has been in an accident," I muttered. I remembered how often I used to joke about my blood type being o negative. Don't worry guys. If you're ever in an accident just give me a call. I focused on the road ahead of me hoping to make it in time. Christian put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a soothing squeeze. I pulled into the hospital parking lot and rushed towards my parents.

"Where is he?"I said frantically. My father took my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I glanced at my mother and she glanced away, her eyes watering and I swallowed the lump in my throat staring straight ahead as my father began to explain what had happened.

"This will just pinch a little," The nurse told me. I nodded and stared straight ahead, letting out a gasp when the metal scratched my arm. A little?! I thought indignantly. I focused on the nurse and tilted my head to the side.

"When do I get to see him?" I asked. The nurse frowned.

"When he is out of surgery then his family will be allowed to see him," she said. I ground my teeth and closed my eyes. His family wasn't here. Suddenly, I thought of something that just might get me in that room. Swallowing, I closed my eyes and glanced at the nurse.

"I'm just really worried about my boyfriend," I said softly.

The nurse looked up at me and sighed. "He won't be conscious straight away," she told me. I nodded and tried to swallow the lump in my throat. As long as he regains consciousness, an inner voice muttered. I shook the thought away, of course he would. He had to.

"You can rest on the chair just over there," the nurse said softly.

"You'll feel lethargic for a while. It is totally normal," I nodded and sank into the seat beside Dimitri's bed. I closed my eyes and tried to squeeze away the tears that were filling my eyes. Dimitri had never looked so pale. I noticed a short blonde haired girl outside the room so I stood up making my way towards her. She gave me a small smile and gestured at Dimitri.

"Is he going to be okay?" she asked. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"It's going to take him a while to recover. Right now he is still relying on the machines monitoring him. It's called an induced coma. The nurse said that it is a good thing. He should wake up in a day or two," I said softly. I extended my hand to the girl. "I'm Rose," I said. She shook my hand.

"Sarah," she said. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "He's a good guy you know. He probably saved my life tonight. Not many people would have intervened… if he hadn't…" she trailed off and took a deep breath to steady herself. I closed my eyes and blinked back tears.

"He always was a perfect gentleman," I said softly. Sarah closed her eyes and glanced at me.

"You must hate me," she murmured. I arched an eyebrow and shook my head.

"Why on earth would I hate you?" I asked. Sarah glanced at me out of the corner of her eyes.

"If he hadn't saved me, he wouldn't have gotten shot," she muttered half to herself. I took a deep breath and looked at her sharply.

"If he hadn't saved you he would never be able to live with himself. It is in Dimitri's nature to run into the face of danger to help people," I said forcing a smile. "Besides, you called the ambulance. You went back into that alley even though you were scared. You made sure that Dimitri got to the hospital. Without you he would be dead. You're just as much of a hero as he is," I said firmly. Sarah's lip quivered and she nodded.

"Your father is a force to be reckoned with," she said half nervously. I laughed.

"Oh, don't worry I know," I said with a grin. I gripped the wall and turned to the room.

"I'm going to rest. Just do me a favor? Don't blame yourself," I told her.

I curled up in the chair next to Dimitri and glanced at him. My heart clenched when I took in the wires hooked up to him. He had to be okay. He just had to. I chewed on my lip and reached out to cup his hand between mine.

"Come on, Comrade, you can't get taken out by a bullet. You're too stubborn for that," I murmured pressing my lips against his hand. I glanced at him desperately wishing that Andrew was here. He would know what to say to make me feel better. I pursed my lips and ran my thumb along the back of his hand.

"It isn't fair you know. You calling me like that," I whispered. "I thought I wouldn't get to you in time… that I wouldn't even get to say goodbye," I rested my head on his hand and tried to ignore the tears falling down my face. I exhaled heavily.

"I can't lose you, Comrade. I don't think my heart could bear it," I whispered. My throat tightened and I felt the familiar tingle in my nose. I leaned forward and pushed the hair from his forehead and pressed a kiss against his lips.

"You've got to wake up. You hear me?" I asked, trying not to burst into tears. I pulled the blanket the nurse gave me over myself and curled up on one of the chairs next to Dimitri. I rested my feet on the coffee table and watched Dimitri carefully.

I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up it was to a large jolt of someone knocking my feet from the coffee table. I sprang up and put a hand against my heart as I stared at Christian in shock. He gave me a lopsided grin.

"Sorry, Rose. I couldn't resist," he said, sitting down next to me. "You need to eat," he told me.

I shook my head. "I'm not leaving him," I insisted. Christian nodded.

"I knew you would say that. So I made you a selection. Snacks, too," he said. He pulled a picnic basket from behind the chair and handed it to me. I felt my lip quiver and I looked at Christian and tried to hold back the tears.

"He would kill me if he thought I let you stay here without eating. So I'm looking after you while he can't," Christian whispered. I cleared my throat and tried to force my mouth to form the words thank you…but they wouldn't. Instead, I sat there with a quivering lip. Christian nudged my arm with his and nodded at Dimitri. "He'll pull through," he said, wringing his hands together.

I nodded and glanced at him. "He has to. I can't lose him," I breathed. I glanced at Christian dreading the next question I was going to ask.

"Is Lissa okay?" I asked. Christian shook his head.

"She made it as far as the ward… when she saw the life support machines she flipped. I tried to explain it to her… that this is good type of coma, but we all know there is no good type…" he said, trailing off and glancing at the machines. I nodded. It was too hard for Lisa. Her parents had been on life support machines for two weeks before the doctors pulled the plug. Seeing Dimitri like this…it would be too hard for her. I glanced back at him.

"Go home and take her of her for me," I pleaded. Christian nodded.

"I will," he promised. His eyes fell on Dimitri and he sighed.

"I should never have let him walk home alone," he muttered.

I turned to glare at him. "Don't! This wasn't your fault. You hear me?" I asked. It was something my councilor had forced me to recite after Andrew's death. This wasn't my fault. This wasn't my fault. It had become my mantra.

Christian nodded. "I know. I'm sorry. It's just so hard… seeing him like this!" he said, running a hand through his hair and scowling at the floor. I put my hand in his and squeezed. I know. I know.

 **Jake POV**

I had really stuck my foot in it last night. But, I really hadn't expected anything to have happened to Dimitri. The guy was a god. At first, I had just thought that he was trying to take Rose from me but then Rose's father had called and I was filled with shame.

In my defense however, It hadn't sounded like a cry for help. I need you. Why would a voicemail like that even go to Rose? Oh yeah, because the guy was in love with her. He literally phoned her with what he thought could have been his dying breaths. Who does that?

Pacing around my living room, I ran a hand through my hair. I glanced at the phone wishing there was some sort of message from Rose, letting me know she was okay, but instead I was met with the same blank screen I had for the past fifteen hours. I sighed, and grabbing my keys, made my way to the hospital. I had to make sure that Rose was okay.

I don't know what I expected by going to the hospital. A room full of people surrounding Dimitri… but instead it was Rose. Just Rose with Dimitri's hand clasped between her own. I clenched my jaw and tried to ignore the twist in my gut. Tried to ignore the voice in my head that was whispering that Rose would never care about me the way that she cared about Dimitri.

I took a step forward and glanced through the window. I noticed the bags under Rose's eyes and I heard a throat clear beside me. "She hasn't left his side. She's barely slept," Janine said softly. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on anything but Rose.

I looked at Janine and nodded. "She cares about him a lot. You all do," I said. Janine glanced at me out of the corner of her eye and sighed.

"We both know there is a bit more to it than that," she said gently. I pursed my lips and glanced back into the room. We did. And I wasn't sure what I was going to do about it.


	16. Has no one told you

**Rose POV**

I heard the door begin to open and turned around to face my mother who gave me a watery smile. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the bags under her eyes. Janine Hathaway was perfect. She always looked immaculate. Not a single red hair out of place. But, today her hair was slung up in a tiny bobble. She hadn't looked like this…well since Andrew died. I looked up at her and forced myself to smile. But I knew it probably looked like an awkward grimace. My mother sat down and cleared her throat.

"I just got off the phone with Olena. The girls are distraught," my mother said softly. I closed my eyes and cursed myself. I had been so caught up in my own selfish grief I hadn't even considered his family. I chewed on my lip and wondered when exactly I had become so selfish.

"Telling Olena that his condition is touch and go…it's honestly one of the hardest things I have ever done," she muttered. Her accent sounded a lot thicker and I knew that she was struggling to stay composed.

"He'll be fine," I said firmly. "He has to be,"

My mother let out a deep sigh and took my hand in her own and kissed the back of my hand.

"Rose. You need to be prepared for the worst. We both know that there is a chance he won't wake up," she said softly. I shook my head and stared at Dimitri. My mother sighed and shook her head.

"What's fur ye will no go bye ye," she whispered. I ground my teeth together. I hated her stupid bullshit proverbs.

"That is bullshit!" I snapped, getting to my feet and whirling to face her. "It's bullshit! Fate doesn't exist. Andrew died because someone killed him. Not because 'these things just happen.' God,"I snapped. My mum sighed and shook her head.

"That isn't what I meant Rose. But, Time and tide will tarry for no man," she said softly as she stood up. In other words Dimitri isn't as invincible as you think he is. He can't outrun death. I ran a hand through my hair and took a deep breath.

"He has to wake up, Mom. He wouldn't leave me! He wouldn't!" I said desperately. My mother sighed and pushed my hair from my eyes.

"Sweetheart, we are all hoping he pulls through. You know how much your father and I love him. But, we all need to be prepared for the worst," she told me. I shook my head and stared blankly ahead.

"No we don't. He's going to be okay," I said sharply.

**Janine POV**

I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the tingling of my nose. I couldn't cry. I stared at Rose and felt my heart breaking for her. I could see the familiar look in her eyes that I'd found in myself when Andrew died. Denial. How many times had I told myself that Andrew would walk through the door any minute? How many times had I pretended it was all some nightmare that I was yet to wake up from? I stood up and placed my hand on Rose's back.

"Rose, you need to ready yourself for the worst," I said softly. She had to be ready.I had been trying to prepare myself to lose him too. It killed me to think that I could lose another of my boys to some mindless thug. But, I had to be strong…and I had to make Rose strong too. Otherwise I would lose her too. If Dimitri died I honestly believed that part of her would too.

I stepped into the hallway and rested my palms on the window looking in to Dimitri's room. Rose had shifted slightly and I knew that I was going to need to bring her some things to occupy herself. I made a mental note to pick up a few things from the flats when I had time. I heard the familiar footsteps and whirled to face Abe.

"Where have you been?" I asked sharply, putting my hands on my hips. Abe clenched his jaw and gestured towards the room.

"Sorting this," he said, grinding his teeth together as he looked into the room.

"And what exactly does that mean?" I asked. Part of me was scared to ask. Abe turned to face me and locked his eyes onto mine.

"You know exactly what it means Janine. Don't worry. The little scumbag is still alive," I felt my heart clench and I let out a gasp.

"Abe! He's someone's son!" I hissed. Abe scoffed and spun to face me.

"He's a rapist and a murderer! I did my research, That girl isn't the first that he has attacked. One of them was fifteen Janine. Fifteen!" he snapped, his eyes blazing. My stomach twisted and I forced myself to swallow the bile that was rising. That wasn't his mother or father's fault.

"Abe, he's still someone's son," I whispered. He nodded and clenched his jaw.

"Yes and now they will know exactly what kind of monster they raised," he growled. I glanced up at him and frowned. It was moments like this where Abe really terrified me. Sometime I forgot just what type of connections he had. I ran a hand over my face, sighed and glanced up at him.

"He isn't any better," I said, resting my hand on top of his. Abe's jaw clenched and he stared through the window at Dimitri.

"He will be," he said with just as much certainty that Rose had.

"Abe…you know what the doctor said," I said softly. It was killing me, seeing them all be in denial about the very real possibility we had of losing Dimitri.

"I'm not losing both of my boys to thugs," he whispered, his hands resting on the glass. I closed my eyes and let out a breath. Dimitri had to pull through. Not just for himself, but for all of us.

**Rose POV**

I tried to force my mum's words out of my mind but instead they were all I could think about, swirling around in my head taunting me. You pushed him away and now you're going to lose him. I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind and leaned forward, clasping his hand in mine.

"You can't leave me, you know that right? You are not allowed to leave me," I whispered, pressing a soft kiss against the back of his knuckles and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"It's not supposed to be like this you know. We're supposed to spend the next few years fighting ourobvious sexual tension. Until somewhere along the lines we fall in love," I whispered. I stared at Dimitri and waited for signs of something stirring. A sign of some form of recognition to my voice. I closed my eyes and traced the outlines of his knuckles.

"I'm already there you know. Completely and utterly there," I whispered. "And, it is killing me to see you like this," I pursed my lips and shook my head. "I must look like an idiot right now sitting here talking to myself," I mused as I twiddled my thumbs together.

"I hate these places you know. Nothing good ever happens in them," I muttered. I glanced at Dimitri and pursed my lips. "I know you would try to argue that babies being born is one of the good things but let's be honest we both know babies are only cute for a fraction of a second. Then they twist those cute little faces up and suddenly you're dealing with a banshee," I said, smiling to myself. Dimitri loved kids. I on the other hand could only handle them in small doses. I felt another lump forming in my throat when I thought about the possibility of him not getting to have children. I ran a hand through my hair and clenched my jaw.

"You shouldn't have wandered off alone. Isn't that what you're always telling Lissa and I?" I asked, resting my head on his arms. I let out a choked sob and I wiped my tears quickly.

"Why couldn't you listen to your own advice comrade?" I asked. I pursed my lips and stared at the ceiling. If he hadn't gone off alone then it would never have happened. If he and Christian had gone together they could still have saved the girl. I ran a hand over my face.

"She's okay you know, the girl. Her name is Sarah. She's actually the one who called your ambulance. She went back into the alleyway and waited with you until the ambulance came. Which if you ask me was pretty brave of her," I whispered. I cleared my throat again.

"I know you can't even hear me right now. But, just in case you can, my mum bought down one of your books for me to read to you. One of the English ones of course…we both know the only Russian I bothered learned was cuss words and dirty phrases," I teased. After a comment like that I usually got an exasperated sigh from Dimitri, but instead, I was met with only the noises from Dimitri's machines.

I let out a choked sob and shook myself. I had to pull myself together. For his sake. I opened the book to the page that Dimitri had dog eared. I scanned the page to try and get the gist of the story. But, I found myself reading about the middle of a battle scene. I frowned and turned a page back, hoping to find a way into the story. I sighed in resignation and turned it to the first page.

"Looks like we're starting from the beginning comrade," I said softly. I cleared my throat and frowned when I noticed the first few lines in the book and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"What no once upon a time?" I muttered staring at the page in front of me. The story just….started! I cleared my throat and glanced at Dimitri.

"It had been three weeks since he had been taken and we were no closer to finding him. We all knew who was behind the kidnapping of course. But none of us would say it out loud," I said. I furrowed my eyebrows and glanced at Dimitri.

"Seriously dude? Can't you pick books that give you the story as you go? No, it has to be all shrouded in mystery so that you have to keep reading," I muttered. I closed my eyes and pursed my lips thinking of the smirk he would be giving me if he was awake. I swallowed the lump in my throat and continued reading out loud. Eventually I found myself getting lost in the story and I only stopped when I heard someone clear their throat in the doorway. I looked up in shock and smiled when I saw my father.

"Reading Rose? I didn't think I'd ever see the day," he said softly. I stood up and walked over to him.

"I heard that hearing a familiar voice can rouse people," I muttered blushing. My dad smiled.

"A wonderful idea," he said softly, tucking a stray hair behind my ear. He made his way over to his seat and sat down. I watched him staring at Dimitri and I felt my chest tighten. I had to get out of there.

"I'll be right back," I said, heading down the hallway towards the vending machines. I rested my head against the glass of the vending machine and let out a heavy sigh. Seeing my mother and father so upset… it brought back so many memories of Andrew's death. I ran a shaky hand over my face and stared at the ceiling.

Then I saw him. A stretcher being hurtled down the hallway towards Dimitri's room. It isn't for him. That's what I tried to tell myself. At least until I saw it entering his room. I was running before I even realised it. Skidding into the door, I swung myself into his room. Then I heard it. The droning flat line beep.

"Dimitri?" the noise I made was pathetic.

"Get her out of here," I heard someone snap. I felt my knees give way and I sunk to the ground. I bit my lip and held back the tears as I watched the doctors attempt to resuscitate him. With every second, my hope sank in my chest as anguish took over.

"You can't die. I love you," I whimpered fighting against the nurses trying to remove me.

I had lost him. I lost him.

Dimitri was gone.


	17. Praying to a God I don't believe in

**Rose POV**

I wasn't allowed back in his room. Not until they "stabilized," him… whatever that meant. My mother had walked me along the corridor as soon as they had brought the defibrillator into his room. We don't need to see this, she'd said, her voice cracking. That was almost half an hour ago and now I found myself inside the chapel, staring up at the stained glass windows.

"I don't believe in you, you know," I called out to the empty room. Staring around the room, I waited for some sort of response. Not that I believed I would get one.

"Besides, if you are real. You'll have to beg for my forgiveness," I seethed, and I meant it.

Every single one of my friends had lost someone. Christian had lost his parents to a meth addiction; Lissa, her parents to a drunk driver. I had lost my brother to a mindless thug. Dimitri had grown up watching his father abuse his mother. It wasn't fair. None of it was. Now Dimitri was on the verge of dying and I was in some stupid chapel praying to a god I didn't believe in, a god who I refused to believe in, because, no loving god would ever put anyone through this much heartbreak. I wasn't even out of college and already I was about to lose another part of myself.

"You don't get to take them both," I found myself sobbing. "Wasn't taking Andrew enough for you?" I hissed to the air around me. I ran a hand through my hair and exhaled heavily. That's when I noticed the priest and I sat up flushing slightly. He nodded at me and I muttered an apology. He shook his head.

"Don't worry. It's how a lot of people cope. I know it can seem unfair when these things happen. The important thing is you remain strong enough to carry on, no matter what," he said, as he polished some of the pews. I swallowed and blew out a long gust of air. The priest gestured at the altar and smiled.

"Would you like to light a candle for your loved ones?" he asked. I blanched and met his eyes.

"I'm not religious," I said quickly. The priest shook his head.

"Didn't say you had to be," he said gesturing for me to come down. Humour him, I could practically hear Dimitri whisper. He was too polite to skip out on things like this, no matter how pointless. The priest gave me a pen and paper.

"Write the names of the loved ones you are thinking of," He said softly. I took a deep breath and scribbled down each of the names, taking extra time to write a short message on Dimitri's. The priest stuck each label to a candle and held out a match for me to light the candles. I sighed and lit each candle. The priest smiled and read my message.

"I'll be sure to pray for him," he said pointedly. I smiled at him.

"Thank you, Father," I said respectfully. Even though I didn't believe this crap for a second, it was always nice when someone who does offered to pray for you. I heard the door open and I turned to face the source of the noise. My father stood at the entrance, his eyes puffy. I felt my throat begin to close over and the tears forming in my eyes. My father smiled.

"He has stabilized," he said, his eyes watering. My heart leapt in my chest and I rushed towards my father, letting him pull me into a tight hug.

"Is he going to be okay?" I asked, my throat tight. My father squeezed my shoulders.

"I hope so," he mumbled into my hair. I clenched my jaw and tried to compose myself. I could still lose him. I walked with my father back to Dimitri's room and sank down into the chair beside him.

"Dimitri," I murmured, sliding my hand through his. I gave his hand a squeeze and wiped the tears which were spilling down my cheeks. I pulled my legs up under me and closed my eyes.

"You scared me," I whispered, tracing the veins on his hands. I heard my father sigh and kneel beside me.

"You scared us all, Belikov," he whispered. "I know Andrew wants his buddy back. But we aren't done with you yet. We aren't ready for you to leave us," he finished, taking off the nazar which never left his neck. He licked his bottom lip and wrapped it loosely around Dimitri's wrist.

"We need you back with us Dimitri," he said softly, tapping his hand against the metal bar beside Dimitri's bed. I felt my throat constrict and I had to force myself to look away from my father. He stood up and cleared his throat, turning to face me.

"I should go check on Janine. I'll be back later, Rose," he said softly, pressing a kiss against my forehead. I let out a shaky breath and looked up at him.

"He's going to be okay, right?" I muttered pathetically. My father pursed his lips.

"I don't know Rose, but I really hope so," he whispered. When he left the room I finally dissolved into tears. It was so unfair. The fact that I had to endure a heartbreak like this a second time. I pursed my lips and ran my thumb over his hand and turned to face the chair, the sobs wracking my body as the sky faded to black around us.

**Dimitri POV**

I could hear her sobs long before I finally came around. It took me about twenty minutes to actually drag myself to consciousness. I opened my eyes and blinked, trying to assess my surroundings. Then I heard it louder than before; Rose… sobbing. I clenched my jaw and tried to sit up, ignoring the burning in my abdomen as I moved.

"Roza," I rasped, my throat was dry and scratchy. "Roza, are you okay?" I asked, ignoring the way my throat burned as I spoke. The action was agony and made my eyebrows knit together in pain. Rose let out a startled gasp and she sat up, turning to face me. Her face lit up and she sprang out of her chair, tears streaming down her face. She placed her hands on either side of my face and pressed frantic kisses all over my face. I cleared my throat.

"Roza, are you okay?" I repeated, forcing the words out. Her mouth was on mine before I could even finish my question. The action caused my heart to accelerate. The feeling of her lips against mine was so familiar that I found myself ignoring the pain in my throat and bringing my hand up to trail through her hair. But, she had already pulled back. She pressed a kiss to my head.

"Don't move. I need to get your doctor," she whispered. The words brought memories back to me. The girl running off, a gun, a flash… darkness. I can't lose you. The words swirled in my head and I swallowed the lump in my throat, unsure if this was the drugs I was on, or if I could actually remember snippets of my unconsciousness. The doctor came into the room and smiled.

"Ah, Mr Belikov. You gave us all quite a fright this morning. Your girlfriend included," the doctor said, nodding at Rose. I felt my heart jump at the use of the word girlfriend. I tried not to get too excited by the usage of the word. It was probably the only way she was allowed in with me. My heart sank with the realization that her kiss earlier might have been a display for any doctors looking in on us. The lump in my throat seemed to thicken and I gratefully gulped down the water that the doctor pressed against my lips. I put my left hand up so that I could hold the bottle myself. It was only then I noticed the nazar dangling from my wrist and not just any nazar either. It was the one that had never left Abe's neck. Not for all the time I had known him. I ran my thumb over the nazar and cleared my throat.

"How bad?" I asked. The doctor gave me a sympathetic look and nodded.

"We had to restart your heart," he told me. I glanced at Rose and felt her crying out in my mind. You can't die…I love you. I clenched my jaws together and shook my head staring up at the ceiling. I ground my teeth together, trying not to cry out when the doctor skimmed my injuries.

"She didn't leave your side you know," Christian said, giving me a soft smile as he gestured at Rose who was curled up on the chair beside me, her hair covering her face. I didn't need to see her face to know that she was asleep. The soft rise and fall of her chest was enough.

I glanced up at Christian hoping to see the usual sarcastic, teasing smirk on his face. Instead, he was eyeing me with worry. I sighed wishing that everyone would stop acting like they were walking on eggshells around me. I was desperate for someone to rant at me….give me a sarcastic remark… anything.

I scratched my head and nodded. "Abe told me. I was surprised. Rose hates these places. Did you make sure-" I began.

Christian chuckled. "I made sure she ate. God, Dimitri. You get shot and you're still only concerned about everyone else," he said, shaking his head in exasperation. I closed my mouth and pursed my lips. Christian stood up and glanced at me.

"I'm glad you're okay. You know that right?" he asked. I felt my eyes water and I smiled. Christian ran a hand through his hair. "When your heart stopped…," he cleared his throat and continued. "We were all terrified. I kept thinking it was my fault… for letting you walk home alone," Christian said, staring up at the ceiling. It was impossible to ignore the choked sob that he let out. I but my lip glancing at my hands.

"It wasn't your fault. I wouldn't have let you come. I needed space. Seeing her with him…." I trailed off and shrugged. "It hurts like a bitch," I admitted. Christian sighed.

"I don't know how any of us would have handled losing you," he mumbled.

"It will take more than a bullet to kill me," I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"You were dead for three minutes," the voice rang through the room. I looked up at Abe and I felt my chest constrict. He made his way towards me, an unlit candle in his hands.

"Rose's," he told me softly. I scanned the note on the candle and I felt my throat close over. Dimitri, you have to wake up. I need you. All my love, Rose. I covered my face with my hands and Abe kneeled beside me.

"You never do anything like this to us again. Do you understand me?" he asked. Resting his palm on my shoulder and giving a reassuring squeeze. I felt my lips begin to shake and I knew I was about to cry. Abe stood up, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Rose is finally getting some sleep, I see," he said softly giving me a pointed look. We're supposed to fall in love… I'm already there. The words swirled in my head.

"The girl is safe you know. The one you saved," Abe told me. I closed my eyes. Thank God. I glanced at the candle beside me and scanned Rose's letter. That combined with the memories swirling in my head made me suddenly think; I had a chance. When I was out of the hospital I was going to fight for her, using everything I had. I had a feeling that it was going to work.


	18. Trying not to lose you

**Dimitri POV**

I smiled at Rose and shook my head.

"Roza, stop fussing. I'm fine. Look, you need to go home and get some rest," I said softly. Rose's hand tightened on my arm and she shook her head.

"I'm not leaving you," she said firmly. I pushed myself to a sitting position and sat up in my bed, taking her hand in my own.

"Roza, you've been here too long. You need to rest. I promise you, I'm going nowhere," I said, pressing my lips against her hand. She exhaled heavily and leaned over me pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"I should speak to Jake," she muttered. "I haven't even spoken to him since you first got here."

I sucked my lip between my teeth and tried to ignore the stab of pain it sent through my heart. I wasn't in any state to get her back. When I was healed – that's when Jake really had something to worry about, because I wasn't going to be some half-assed contender. I was going to fight for Rose with everything I had.

"Good idea, Roza. Then go rest. Please. I should really call my family anyway," I said, smiling at her. Rose nodded and left the room allowing me to pull out my phone and call my mother.

"Dimitri," she breathed my name almost as if saying it caused her physical pain. I swallowed the lump in my throat and greeted her. "We were worried sick. Honestly, Dimka! You know how dangerous those streets are! You lost Andrew on them!" she chastised. I closed my eyes and nodded.

"I know, I wasn't thinking straight. I was upset…it was a stupid thing to do. But…I saved a girl," I said softly. I heard my mother put down a cup heavily and she cleared her throat.

"From what?" she asked tenderly, her voice softening to an almost whisper. I closed my eyes.

"He was going to rape her," I spat the words out and I could feel the venom dripping off my words. My mother sighed and I could see her shaking her head.

"You always did the right thing Dimitri, but I do wish that you wouldn't put yourself in these positions," she said exasperatedly. I heard her dragging back a chair and I knew that the others had to be sitting around her.

"How is Rose?" she asked. I closed my eyes and nodded.

"She's okay. Tired, but otherwise she is doing fine. She didn't leave my side," I said softly. I could practically see the smile on my mother's face and I could hear my sisters fighting for the phone. Ask him if they are dating yet! I shook my head and smiled.

"She already has a boyfriend," I told them. I heard an outraged noise and I could see them all fighting for the phone in my head. "I'm going to fight for her." I heard my mother chuckle and she shook her head murmuring to herself.

"Of course you are. Hopefully, it will work and we'll get to see Rose again. We miss you, you know," she said softly. I smiled and nodded.

"I know. I miss you guys too. I love you, you know that right?" I asked. My mom laughed.

"I love you too, Dimka. We all do. Your grandmother is insisting that she speak to you. I love you. Bye," she said. I murmured a bye and then was met by silence on the other end. I sighed and shook my head;Yeva.

"Yes, Grandmother?" I asked, smoothing down my sheet. She made a non-committal noise and I heard her leaving the room with my siblings.

"Don't pursue her. Not yet at least," she said softly. I furrowed my eyebrow and held in a sigh; she always did love being cryptic.

"What do you mean?" I asked. My grandmother sighed.

"You love her and she loves you. But, she almost lost you Dimitri and you don't want her entering into a relationship with you because of that. You give it time. Until you're out of the hospital. Then you chase her," she said softly. I mulled over the words in my head and nodded. She was right. Besides, it gave me some time to formulate some sort of game plan.

Luckily, it had only taken a few days before I was allowed back home. I placed my bags on my couch and let out an oomph when a blonde mass of curls hurled into my arms.

"I'm so glad you're okay. I wanted to visit…but I couldn't…" Lissa trailed off and I wiped away a stray tear.

"Hey, Lissa." I pulled her into my arms. "I'm here. You visiting wouldn't have made a difference, besides I know that you would have been praying for me every day. At least we all know that the big guy heard your prayers," I teased. Lissa flushed slightly but I could tell that my words had soothed her. She sobbed lightly and leaned into my chest.

"I'm just so glad that you're okay," she mumbled. I smiled, kissing the top of her head. Christian smiled and glanced at us both.

"Celebration dinner tonight. I'll cook," he said, grinning widely. I let my arms drop from Lissa and I stepped into his arms, pulling him tight against me. I felt him bury his face in my shoulder and I had the strangest suspicion he was crying. I had to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat.

"We never go off alone again. You got that?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at me. I nodded and tightened my grip on his shoulders. "I won't lose you. Where you go, I go," he said firmly. I shook my head and rested my head against his.

"You got it. I've got no plans of going anywhere," I said, smiling at the both of them.

"I'm glad to hear that," Rose said from the doorway. I spun round to face her and let out a grunt of surprise when she threw herself into my arms.

"We thought we had lost you, you know. I don't think I have ever been so scared in my life. Not even with…" she trailed off, her eyes tearing up. I swallowed the lump in my throat and stared at my three best friends.

"Guys, you're acting like I actually died. I'm here. I'm fine. Relax," I said, giving them all pointed looks. Rose pushed me lightly and gave me a sharp look.

"What we're trying to say is that we missed you, you jackass. Don't ever scare us like that again," Christian drawled, from the kitchen.

I smiled and shook my head. "You guys act like I did this deliberately," I said. Christian shrugged.

"People fussing over you for a week. Can't say that it has too many downsides," he teased. I grinned at him. Reverting back to the casual teasing. That was exactly what I needed right now. Rose smiled and shook her head.

"I have a card for you actually," she said, passing me a small card. I opened it and smiled at the note.Thank you for everything. I'm forever in your debt – Sarah. I closed my eyes and looked at Rose who smiled softly. Then she noticed the uneasy look I was giving her. I couldn't handle sympathetic Rose.

"So I read to you when you were in hospital," she said conversationally. I arched my eyebrows and looked at her.

"Is that so?" I asked, it was hard to imagine Rose reading anything never mind reading to someone.

"Yup," she said, holding up a book that instantly made me freeze. "I was reading and I was almost done so I decided to take it home to finish it," she added, twirling the book in her head. "I always knew you liked book porn, Belikov," she said smugly. Christian let out a bark of laughter and I took a few steps towards Rose, plucking the book from her hands. I noticed her bookmark and smirked.

"Hmmm, seems you liked it too Roza. You're awful far in," I said smugly. Rose's smirk faltered and I could swear that I could see a faint blush in her cheeks. I shook my head and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Let me guess, you liked the whole bilingual thing, моя любовь," I whispered. Rose shivered at the use of my love and I felt a smirk tug at my lips. She took a step away from me and avoided looking at me and I pursed my lips, trying to hide my smile. Christian gave me a pointed look, and I grinned making my way over to him. He pursed his lips and shook his head.

"You know she still hasn't broke up with him, right?" he whispered. I leaned against the counter and stared at Rose, who was leaning against the couch, her eyes squeezed firmly shut.

"She will," I said confidently. Christian looked at me from the corner of his eyes and nudged me.

"So what did you say to incite that blush on her face?" he asked shaking his head.

"I just implied that she only enjoyed my book because one of the characters is bilingual," I said innocently. Christian arched an eyebrow and I looked down at the floor.

"What else?" he pressed.

"I may or may not have whispered to her in Russian," I said. Christian shook his head and glanced at me.

"Fuck Dimitri, you're really going for this aren't you?" he asked. I met Rose's eyes across the room and I turned to face Christian.

"It's the only choice I have," I said simply.

"Why? Why now?" he asked. I cleared my throat and looked at him.

"I heard her. When I was out. I heard her talking to me. It's given me hope…hope that everything isn't lost," I whispered.

His eyes locked onto mine and he looked at me, understanding lighting up his face. Grabbing my shoulders, he said firmly, "Good. Make this an all-out war. You're supposed to be together."

I grinned and glanced up a Rose. I was planning on it.

**Rose POV**

I let out a shaky breath that I hadn't even realised I was holding and stared at Dimitri. He was laughing and joking with Christian. I couldn't help but stare at him.

My love. The words swirled round in my head and I tried to ignore the shiver that his accent sent through my bones. He was flirting with me. I could spot it a mile away. Only it wasn't like him. Usually he at least tried to be discrete about it.

I closed my eyes and made my way into the hallway. I took a deep breath and rested against the wall. I had been working so hard to convince myself that I didn't love him. But, after everything that had happened. I knew that I was only lying to myself and everyone around me.

It seemed that any time that I tried to stop loving him I only ended up loving him more. Adding Jake and my promise to this equation only made things a hell of a lot more complicated.

"You look deep in thought," his voice was close, practically next to my ear. I looked up at him and I felt my body instantly begin to flush at the closeness. His arms caged at either side of me and I swallowed the dryness in my throat and looked up at him.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice wavering. Dimitri smiled and tucked a lose strand of hair behind my ear.

"I'm letting you know that I heard you at the hospital. Every word. I'm letting you know that I'm already there," he said softly, his hand grazing my cheek. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to try and protest but he cut me off.

"I'm letting you know that I meant what I said. He's not going to win this one so easily. So you better be ready for it, моя любовь. I don't care how long it takes. I don't care if I have to see you with him every day for the next year. I'm going to be here. Fighting for you, for as long as it takes" he whispered. His lips were so close to mine that I could practically feel his breath mingling with mine.

This is it, I thought he's going to kiss me. Only he didn't. Instead he pulled back, and pressed a chaste kiss to the top of my head. Well fuck.


	19. Ex to see

**Rose POV**

I chewed on my lip and tried to ignore the thud in my chest when Dimitri's hand brushed my leg. I glanced at him sharply and it was then that I realised that we wasn't even looking at me. He was totally engrossed in a conversation with Lissa and Christian.

I glanced at his hand, wondering if he even knew that his hand was touching me. The knuckles brushed my leg again making me jump, and I scowled when I noticed that he was grinning. So he did know.

When my phone rang I stood up, thankful for the distraction. Dimitri turned to face me and watched me as I glanced at the caller ID. I sighed when I noticed it was Jake; I had forgotten to call him. I lifted the phone to my ear and sat at the breakfast bar.

"Hey, I've been waiting for you to call," Jake said softly. I cleared my throat and looked over at Dimitri and sighed.

"I told you that I was going to be with the guys tonight. Dimitri got out today," I reminded him.

"You're with him now?" Jake snapped. I clenched my teeth and raised my eyebrows.

"Yes," I hissed. Dimitri sat up straighter on the couch and raised his eyebrow, giving me a concerned look. I forced a smile and focused on the call.

"Are you two alone?" he snapped. I stood up and headed towards the hallway.

"Are you going to make this an issue? He nearly died, Jake," I snapped. Jake let out a heavy sigh and I could hear him running his hand through his hair.

"Yes. He did, and I'm sorry about that. But, that doesn't make it okay for you to ditch me for him," Jake snapped.I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to both sides of my temple. I heard Dimitri step into the hallway and I held up my hand to stop him in his tracks. He frowned and leaned against the wall.

"Is everything okay, Roza?" he asked. I heard Jake grinding his teeth together and I nodded and gestured for him to leave. Dimitri let out a sigh and left the room.

"Roza?You really expect me to think that there is nothing going on with you two?" Jake asked softly. "I get it. I do. But, it hurts Rose." He paused for a bit, waiting for me to respond. When I didn't, he sighed."Look, can we discuss this tomorrow? In person?" he asked. I sighed and nodded.

"Sure,"I said softly. I walked back into the living room and Dimitri met my eyes from the couch. He sat up a little straighter and frowned when I sat at the opposite end of the couch.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly. I closed my eyes and nodded. I would be. Just as soon as I figured out what the hell I was going to do.

**Jake POV**

I had snapped at her. I had been a complete ass, but I couldn't help it. I could practically feel her slipping away from me. She swore she would give me a chance, but that was before she almost lost him and I knew that it was going to affect us. It was going to affect the decisions she made.

I ran a hand over my face and flopped down on the bed. It was difficult to hate him. That was the worst part. How was I ever supposed to compare to a guy who her friends and family loved? How was I supposed to compare to a guy who got shot literally saving someone. I ran my hands through my hair and groaned. Sleep was going to evade me tonight. I could feel it.

I let out a sigh and made my way up the stairs to Rose's apartment. Just in time to run into Dimitri who was making his way down the stairs. I stared at him and cleared my throat.

"I'm glad you're out of hospital," I found myself blurting. Dimitri chuckled and nodded.

"Yeah, me too," he said. I was about to walk up the stairs when his next words stopped me in my tracks. "Nearly dying really put things into perspective," he said, his eyes meeting mine.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. "I guess it can do that," I said, meeting his gaze. I could see it in his eyes. The hint of a challenge behind his gaze. I cleared my throat and met his eyes.

"I'm picking Rose up for our date," I said. I hadn't realized how bone headed and dickish my words had sounded until they were already out of my mouth. Dimitri's lips quirked into a smile and he nodded.

"Yeah, enjoy that," he said, nodding at me before descending down the stairs. I looked up to see Christian staring at me in amusement.

"That was a really pathetic display. Trying to rub in the fact you're going on a date with Rose?" he asked. I squared my shoulders and held my chin high. Christian glanced at me and gestured at Rose's door.

"I should warn you… Dimitri's going to fight for her. He loves her you know. Can you say the same?" Christian asked. I felt my retort bubble in my throat. Love her? Did I love her? No. But I could. Eventually. Christian nodded and sighed.

"That's what I thought. Look, I just want you to know what you're getting in the way of. Rose loves him too. You saw it. At the hospital. You saw how she reacted to almost losing him. Do you really think that you contend with that?" Christian asked, running a hand through his hair. I scoffed and looked at him.

"So why is she with me then?" I asked. Christian gave me a sympathetic look and he shook his head.

"Because she's in denial. She thinks that being with you will help it go away. But we all know that isn't true. All it is going to do is hurt them both. And you when everything falls apart," he said, his voice taking a frustrated tone. I cleared my throat and nodded.

"Well, thanks for the warning. But, I think I will take my chances. I can handle myself," I said, avoiding his eyes. Christian sighed and turned away from me, shaking his head and heading back into his own apartment.

I swallowed his words and tried to ignore the feeling it caused in my gut. How was I supposed to contend with him? How was I supposed to contend with two people in love? I shook my head and stared at Rose's door. She might not be in love with him. Or at least that is what I tried to convince myself of when I knocked on her front door.

When she opened the door I felt the wind literally being knocked from me as I looked at her. She looked beautiful. I leaned forward, to capture her mouth in a kiss. I tried not to frown when she turned her face the other way. It's nothing, I told myself.

I noticed Lissa giving me a sympathetic look and closed my eyes. I was fed up of everyone around us acting like I didn't have a chance. I had just the same amount of chance as Dimitri did. Liar, my inner voice whispered.

I don't know what possessed to me. Maybe it was the jealousy, maybe it was the male bravado, but I ended up taking her to the bar because I knew that is where he would be. Rose let out a squeak when she realized where we were and I ground my teeth together when she suddenly pulled down the mirror to check her reflection. It's all for him.

I closed my eyes and tried to silence the voice in my head as we headed into the bar. I heard Leah greet Rose and I forced a smile onto my face. Rose led us towards a table at the back of the bar and I felt my stomach tighten. She was deliberately trying to hide us from his view which was unusual for her. Usually she would be trying to get his attention. I grabbed her hand and forced a smile as I tugged her to another table, one that was in the direct line of vision of the bar. I smirked when I noticed Dimitri's shoulders tense and I sat down smiling at Rose.

"I missed you," I told her. I reached forward, taking her hand in mine and gauging Dimitri's reaction. I wanted him to see this. To see that I could have her. Dimitri raised his chin and forced the hurt look off his face and met my eyes. Rose sighed and looked at me and she forced a smile.

"I missed you too," she said. I felt my lips tug into a frown and I stared at her. Liar. I shook my head and stared at her. This wasn't even about Rose any more. The only thing I cared about was the fact that her ex could see us. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"You haven't," I told her. Her eyes sprang up to meet mine and I ran my thumb over her hand. "I've been acting like a total asshole, but to be honest, it's only because I've never been the guy who lost before," I admitted.

**Rose POV**

I stared at Jake in shock and raised my eyebrows.

"Who lost what?" I asked in confusion. He sighed and gestured at Dimitri.

"He told you that he is going to fight didn't her?" he asked. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. Jake ran a hand over his face and sighed.

"I'm sorry for acting like such an ass. Look, Rose, it wasn't fair for me to ever make you promise not to go back to him. Especially not when you both love each other," he said softly. I stared at him and shock and he let out a bark of laughter.

"Don't give me that look Rose. It is so obvious. I just…look. I'm not going to try and contend with him.You love him Rose. Your family loves him," he told me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and I opened my mouth to protest. He raised his hand, cutting me off.

"He almost died. Rose, I witnessed how that hurt you. After something like that…you both deserve to be happy. I just want you to know that I don't blame you. You aren't breaking your promise by going back to him," Jake said, his eyes watering.

"I didn't say I was going back to him!" I exclaimed. Jake pursed his lips and gave me a sad smile.

"Rose, you can't use me as an excuse. It isn't like we love each other. You're in love with another guy and that is okay. But, I won't be the excuse you hide behind because you're scared to open up to him," he whispered. I shook my head and swallowed the lump in my throat. He was hurting and I could see it. Jake let out a laugh and looked at me.

"Who knows where I'll find this. But, I know it's not going to be here. Not with you," he said shrugging. I glanced over at Dimitri who was chatting to one of the regular customers. Seeing him smiling made my heart flutter. I closed my eyes and looked at Jake, nodding.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. He shrugged and stood up, taking my hand.

"I should have known that the beautiful girl taking an interest in me was too good to be true," he joked as we walked outside. I leaned back against the wall and stared at him.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. You know that, right?" I asked.

Jake smiled and nodded. "Yeah Rose, I know," he said as we climbed into the car. The car ride home was filled with the awkward silences I always hated. It wasn't until I was about to get out of the car that he finally spoke.

"Rose? Don't waste your time with him, okay?" he said softly.

I nodded. I wouldn't.


End file.
